I wish I was one of those people who had some life changing experience and now lives my time on Earth to the fullest. Full of appreciation for each second of every day, every pretty flower and every beautiful sunrise, I'd thank my lucky stars I'm alive. I'd be nice to everyone I meet because you never know what demons they are struggling with that day. I'd also be nice to all my friends and family because it could be my last day on Earth. My last breath, my last thought, my last heartbeat.
You know, the kind of thing you read in "Guideposts." Wouldn't want to exit this world after telling a loved one they're a complete and utter jerkoff.
However, I can wake up every day and remind myself, "Hey. You. Yeah you. You may die today!" So what? What do I do with this knowledge? Spend all my money on designer clothes? Shoes? Drink a couple bottles of white wine and sing karaoke with no shame? Maybe drink some pina coladas, get caught in the rain and make love after midnight? Quit my job and dedicate my life to helping wayward teens achieve their dreams and turn their lives around? Yeah, I'll send in that resume just to give the unattainable dream job a shot but death ... well, my switch shut off long ago for such a big issue because I can remind myself to ad nauseum, but I still live my life the same.
Reminds me of people who think they know it all when it comes to religion. Humans are not capable of knowing everything, of understanding the ins and outs of life. It's over our heads!
With all the big issues of life, death is the ultimate elephant in the room. If I don't look at it then it isn't real, right? It'll just go away, right?
No one is comfortable knowing one day they will die and go ... to Heaven? Hell? Limbo? Oz? The Island of Lost Toys? Nowhere -- lights out, game over! Maybe be reincarnated as a maple tree or Kim Kardashian's left buttcheek. No one knows for certain ... well certainty outside of religious nuts and those believing they were someone else in a former life. Yeah, in a former life I was Attila the Hun. Chew on that.
Anyway, I can't wrap my head around death. I push it out of my mind when it creeps out of the shadows, usually emerging right after I've pulled the covers up around my shoulders, rolled on to my side and am slowly wiggling my way into the welcoming arms of Sleepy Town. Not the best time for deep thoughts about something uncontrollable and frightening.
The other instance where death rears its ugly head is when someone dies, which happened to me recently. No one extremely close to me has died before so, as sick as it sounds, having someone halfway close to me die is like a dress rehearsal for the big showdown.
I figured I'd remember something about the deceased. A smell. Maybe his scent or a favorite drink or food. It's like breaking up with someone only later to be reminded of them when all you want to do is forget -- Ecco Domani Pinot Grigio, a steak, egg and cheese bagel, a Magnum Trojan Condom (kidding ... or am I?) -- except instead of an ex, we're talking dead people. Maybe I'd remember a noise, like his voice or laugh, but nothing was there except a blank, empty feeling. He's not here anymore but, considering we weren't close, not much changed.
However, it was difficult simply because of that damn elephant in the room, death. He's dead. Where did he go? When I finally mustered enough courage to traverse a couple feet from his open casket, to peer in and sneak a peek, what did I expect to see? What should I feel? Why am I so scared? It's not like he's going to spring up, eyes wide, arms stiff, only to scream, "Brains!" .... or would he?
Suffice to say, I almost fainted at the sight of his papier-mache features, his translucent skin and empty shell. What was in there? Is there a soul and did it leave his body? If so, where did it go? Was he watching me watch him? Was he still in there? Is he somewhere else? Can he hear my thoughts?
Cue the eerie music.
At the funeral, as I listened to a beautiful speech about his life, I thought how this was his last hurrah. People gathered around his casket, remembering him fondly or simply trying to think of something polite to say to his grieving family ... I'm sorry for your loss. He was a nice man.
One last speech from a friend. One last connection to this world. Then I thought ... is he hovering overhead, watching his own funeral? Does he like it and if he doesn't, what can he do? Can he haunt me? Can he take over my body?
Cue every scary movie, every scary book -- no wonder they're so popular. No one knows what happens when you die. No one knows what happens after ... for certain. We can believe but belief isn't solid. Everyone has doubts. Everyone wonders what if. Maybe that's the whole point -- life wouldn't be easier if we knew what happened afterwards. If we all went to Hell or Heaven, no matter what, what's the point of trying to be a good person? If nothing happened and it's simply lights out, it would change life as we know it. You wouldn't watch a movie if you already knew the ending, right?
We're all going to die. I said it and nothing happened. No smiting, no lightning. We. Are. All. Going. To. Die. Pretty people. Ugly people. Rich people and poor people. Mean people and nice people. Happy people and sad. We will all die. It could happen today or tomorrow. Maybe in a month or a few years. No one knows. We can either try our best to come to terms with it, ignore it or die frightened and full of misery.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
The lies politicians told me ... Republican presidential candidates feed us truth mixed with complete b.s. but ... so do all politicians
Republican presidential candidates are in America's face. Like a swarm of Locusts, these insects are swarming our TVs, radios and newspapers, yap yap yapping and feeding us lies in hopes we'll take the bait and vote for them. Then they will eat us alive like the crops in ancient Egypt. They giveth and then they taketh away!
Perry Camp Hits Mitt on Immigration
Did Donald Trump turn Rick Perry into a 'birther'
Bachmann says she would be a president who prays
Republicans turn judicial power into a campaign issue
Herman Cain addresses racial humor controversy, abortion, 999 plan
Santorum: US 'lost the war in Iraq' ... poor little guy, such an unfortunate last name.
Anyway, debate after debate but I will not listen to any of the nonsense, same with Prez Barry O constantly being on the TV, yap yap yapping away. The only truth I've gotten from this zoo is Herman Cain, Mr. Gov'ment Cheese himself (what a cool action figure ... ), puts the toppings under the cheese on his Godfather's Pizza. Well played sir! Perhaps he's "running" for president so people will buy his pizza-pie ... can't get a better audience any other way especially for a country filled with obese slobs ...
So, from Prez Barry O-bama (who is a speech crazy floozy) to Republican presidential candidates to Vice President Joe Biden to senators across the country ... not everything coming out of their mouth is truth ... well besides gas because there's nothing fake about a big, juicy burp (did you know there's a world burping champion? Pretty stupid ... I hope aliens aren't examining us and choose to watch his video on YouTube).
Why do we feed into the bullshit? Unless you have the brain the size of my fat ass and can discern truth from lies, tune it out and find the nitty-gritty at FactCheck.org or PolitiFact. They do the work for you ... or maybe you just want someone to believe in ...
Think of politicians (in all shape and sizes, from butt plug conservatives to loose liberals) as a lying, cheating boyfriend who you can't let go of because of your own insecurities and because you love him! What would you do without him? Like Jack said to Ennis in "Brokeback Mountain" ... "You are too much for me Ennis, you son-of-a-whore-son bitch! I wish I knew how to quit you!" It's so wrong but oh so right and, let's face it, you gotta pick somebody to be president, right? The lesser of evils.
So, with these politicians, aka that no good boyfriend, you're in luck! They tell you this, tell you that, rub you the right way (ooo right there, that's the spot) but you have someone on your side! There are websites that do the work for you and tell you what's wrong and what's right!
Also, if you ran into my old Social Studies teacher (probably in front of the Krispy Kremes display case at the local Safeway) she wouldn't describe me as a model student but I'm pretty sure I'm not voting for a new president until Nov. 6, 2012 (well, if the world doesn't end before then -- hope the Mayans don't steal Harold Camping's thunder!). So, doesn't all this feel like department stores who start selling Christmas stuff way too early? You know, when you want to just buy a damn Halloween costume and instead of skeletons and doom and gloom you walk into a store filled with Christmas nutcrackers and f-ing Kris Kringle? Stop trying to steal our precious moments Big Industry and, as for the Republican candidates, it's October 2011. I understand the Republican vs. Democrat thing ... you know Barry O isn't doing too great of a job so all the Republicans are hot on his trail, ready to take over the White House but come on! I'm not trying to worry about November 2012 yet. Live in the now!
Perry Camp Hits Mitt on Immigration
Did Donald Trump turn Rick Perry into a 'birther'
Bachmann says she would be a president who prays
Republicans turn judicial power into a campaign issue
Herman Cain addresses racial humor controversy, abortion, 999 plan
Santorum: US 'lost the war in Iraq' ... poor little guy, such an unfortunate last name.
Anyway, debate after debate but I will not listen to any of the nonsense, same with Prez Barry O constantly being on the TV, yap yap yapping away. The only truth I've gotten from this zoo is Herman Cain, Mr. Gov'ment Cheese himself (what a cool action figure ... ), puts the toppings under the cheese on his Godfather's Pizza. Well played sir! Perhaps he's "running" for president so people will buy his pizza-pie ... can't get a better audience any other way especially for a country filled with obese slobs ...
So, from Prez Barry O-bama (who is a speech crazy floozy) to Republican presidential candidates to Vice President Joe Biden to senators across the country ... not everything coming out of their mouth is truth ... well besides gas because there's nothing fake about a big, juicy burp (did you know there's a world burping champion? Pretty stupid ... I hope aliens aren't examining us and choose to watch his video on YouTube).
Why do we feed into the bullshit? Unless you have the brain the size of my fat ass and can discern truth from lies, tune it out and find the nitty-gritty at FactCheck.org or PolitiFact. They do the work for you ... or maybe you just want someone to believe in ...
Think of politicians (in all shape and sizes, from butt plug conservatives to loose liberals) as a lying, cheating boyfriend who you can't let go of because of your own insecurities and because you love him! What would you do without him? Like Jack said to Ennis in "Brokeback Mountain" ... "You are too much for me Ennis, you son-of-a-whore-son bitch! I wish I knew how to quit you!" It's so wrong but oh so right and, let's face it, you gotta pick somebody to be president, right? The lesser of evils.
So, with these politicians, aka that no good boyfriend, you're in luck! They tell you this, tell you that, rub you the right way (ooo right there, that's the spot) but you have someone on your side! There are websites that do the work for you and tell you what's wrong and what's right!
Also, if you ran into my old Social Studies teacher (probably in front of the Krispy Kremes display case at the local Safeway) she wouldn't describe me as a model student but I'm pretty sure I'm not voting for a new president until Nov. 6, 2012 (well, if the world doesn't end before then -- hope the Mayans don't steal Harold Camping's thunder!). So, doesn't all this feel like department stores who start selling Christmas stuff way too early? You know, when you want to just buy a damn Halloween costume and instead of skeletons and doom and gloom you walk into a store filled with Christmas nutcrackers and f-ing Kris Kringle? Stop trying to steal our precious moments Big Industry and, as for the Republican candidates, it's October 2011. I understand the Republican vs. Democrat thing ... you know Barry O isn't doing too great of a job so all the Republicans are hot on his trail, ready to take over the White House but come on! I'm not trying to worry about November 2012 yet. Live in the now!
Friday, October 21, 2011
Man executed in Alabama despite mental health doubts ... why nobody cared about Chris Johnson but everybody cared about Troy Davis
Ever heard of Chris Johnson?
No, I don't mean the running back from the Tennessee Titans who may or may not be going through a slump. I'm not referring to the actor from various TV shows. Negative on the cornerback for the Oakland Raiders as well as the third baseman from the Houston Astros.
I'm talking about Christopher Johnson, the man put on death row for killing his infant son in February 2005. I'm talking about the man who was recently executed despite mental health doubts.
The U.S. Supreme Court outlawed the execution of mentally ill individuals on the grounds it's unconstitutional. As The Collector said in "Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome," it's the law!
Despite being in and out of psychiatric hospitals as a youth and prescribed anti-psychotic drugs, despite never being evaluated by a court as to whether he was mentally competent to be executed, despite showing erratic behavior as of late including banging his head against the wall, secluding himself from other inmates and eating a roll of toilet paper, he was put to death by lethal injection. Guess everything in retrospect is obvious.
On Thursday, Oct. 20, 2011, before he was injected, Johnson was asked if he had any last words. He remarked, "Game over." He was pronounced dead at 6:25 p.m.
You Google "Christopher Johnson" and you'll find an article after scrolling through a sea of news stories referring to the Christopher Johnson's I mentioned earlier, the Christopher Johnson's of note according to the media.
So, Google "Christopher Johnson execute" and you'll get articles from random media outlets. Instead of CNN, USA Today or the Washington Post, you'll get The Guardian out of the UK and WKRG out of Alabama as top sources. Where's the rest of the U.S. on this important news story? Asleep at the media wheel.
When Troy Davis was set to be executed a few months ago -- a man many believe to be innocent -- you couldn't turn on the TV or sign on to Facebook or Twitter without hearing about his unfair fate and the uproar from the public. From the NY Times to the Huffington Post, his story was smothered and covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns.
So, I don't get it. Was it because Troy Davis was black and Christopher Johnson not? Was it because Davis was presumed not-guilty by the public in contrast to Johnson being presumed mentally unwell yet still guilty -- mental illness is a taboo in our culture so possibly people thought he should die anyway? Was it because Johnson was convicted of killing his own child, a mere 6-month-old? Was it because he wasn't sorry? Was it because Troy Davis repeatedly denied any wrongdoing and Johnson never attempted to appeal or do anything?
No. It's because the media didn't tell us what to be upset about so the State of Alabama is the bad guy and Christopher Johnson is a good guy ... I learned about it after-the-fact. There's so much going on in the world and big media offers a catered buffet of your interests.
Oh glorious Media Gods, please, I beg of you, shine down on me and hear my prayers. What should I be upset about today? What should I be happy about? Thank you! Without you I am a lost lamb.
They want you to Google something and read about it on their site. So, how do you they do that? They write about what you are going to search, always staying a few steps ahead. Why on Earth would you search about Chris Johnson when you don't even know who he is!? Yeah, the news outlets have varying hustles -- that's why Republicans listen to FOX News and Liberals read "The Nation" -- but they all report on items you are interested in so you will click on their news story while surfing the web because print is dead and the Internet is where its at! Give me what I want to hear America!
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? If a mentally ill man is executed without being evaluated by a court and no one knows about it, does it matter?
No, I don't mean the running back from the Tennessee Titans who may or may not be going through a slump. I'm not referring to the actor from various TV shows. Negative on the cornerback for the Oakland Raiders as well as the third baseman from the Houston Astros.
I'm talking about Christopher Johnson, the man put on death row for killing his infant son in February 2005. I'm talking about the man who was recently executed despite mental health doubts.
The U.S. Supreme Court outlawed the execution of mentally ill individuals on the grounds it's unconstitutional. As The Collector said in "Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome," it's the law!
Despite being in and out of psychiatric hospitals as a youth and prescribed anti-psychotic drugs, despite never being evaluated by a court as to whether he was mentally competent to be executed, despite showing erratic behavior as of late including banging his head against the wall, secluding himself from other inmates and eating a roll of toilet paper, he was put to death by lethal injection. Guess everything in retrospect is obvious.
On Thursday, Oct. 20, 2011, before he was injected, Johnson was asked if he had any last words. He remarked, "Game over." He was pronounced dead at 6:25 p.m.
You Google "Christopher Johnson" and you'll find an article after scrolling through a sea of news stories referring to the Christopher Johnson's I mentioned earlier, the Christopher Johnson's of note according to the media.
So, Google "Christopher Johnson execute" and you'll get articles from random media outlets. Instead of CNN, USA Today or the Washington Post, you'll get The Guardian out of the UK and WKRG out of Alabama as top sources. Where's the rest of the U.S. on this important news story? Asleep at the media wheel.
When Troy Davis was set to be executed a few months ago -- a man many believe to be innocent -- you couldn't turn on the TV or sign on to Facebook or Twitter without hearing about his unfair fate and the uproar from the public. From the NY Times to the Huffington Post, his story was smothered and covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns.
So, I don't get it. Was it because Troy Davis was black and Christopher Johnson not? Was it because Davis was presumed not-guilty by the public in contrast to Johnson being presumed mentally unwell yet still guilty -- mental illness is a taboo in our culture so possibly people thought he should die anyway? Was it because Johnson was convicted of killing his own child, a mere 6-month-old? Was it because he wasn't sorry? Was it because Troy Davis repeatedly denied any wrongdoing and Johnson never attempted to appeal or do anything?
No. It's because the media didn't tell us what to be upset about so the State of Alabama is the bad guy and Christopher Johnson is a good guy ... I learned about it after-the-fact. There's so much going on in the world and big media offers a catered buffet of your interests.
Oh glorious Media Gods, please, I beg of you, shine down on me and hear my prayers. What should I be upset about today? What should I be happy about? Thank you! Without you I am a lost lamb.
They want you to Google something and read about it on their site. So, how do you they do that? They write about what you are going to search, always staying a few steps ahead. Why on Earth would you search about Chris Johnson when you don't even know who he is!? Yeah, the news outlets have varying hustles -- that's why Republicans listen to FOX News and Liberals read "The Nation" -- but they all report on items you are interested in so you will click on their news story while surfing the web because print is dead and the Internet is where its at! Give me what I want to hear America!
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? If a mentally ill man is executed without being evaluated by a court and no one knows about it, does it matter?
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