Go tell yo mama, there's some Secret Service drama. Wow, I'm a rapper just like Deion "Prime Time" Sanders!
Anyway, "Secret Service drama" is what the incident is being referred as but it's more than that. The number of Johns seemingly rises every day like a stiff wang. What's it to now? 24 men under investigation? I think it's 12 Secret Service, 12 military personnel. Guess Colombian prostitutes aren't cheaper by the dozen after all!
Now wait just one minute Mister. Before we belly flop into this mess, let's pretend we learned something from recent national drama: don't go all Trayvon Martin, Joseph Kony and cast judgements. Let's talk facts, not assumptions the media weaves into stone cold proof for our eager, gullible ears and prejudiced ideals.
So, I wonder, what are your feelings about this drama? Not momentarily-passing-judgment-assumptions (well ...Ann Curry on "The Today Show" was sad about it so I'm gonna be sad about it) but I've-thought-about-it-and-read-some-reputable-articles feelings.
I don't know much about the Secret Service aside from TV (Stan Smith from "American Dad") and movies (Harrison Ford screaming "Get off my plane!), so ... I ain't got a clue and neither do you. What I know is the Secret Service is a U.S. law enforcement agency veiled in a web of mystery and suspense. They protect the president and other high ranking officials and investigate criminal activity. This is some serious shit!
I picture some emotionless muscle, standing at attention, Ray Bans on, crisp suit, eyes peeled for presidential assassination drama. Oh the suspense!
These dudes were tasked with providing Barry O with safe travel to the Summit of the Americas in Colombia. They were, allegedly, part of the jump team flying in on military transport planes with vehicles in the president's motorcade. Sprinkle in some military personnel and you have a pretty serious situation. Operation Keep Barry O Safe. I'd like a cool code name for the encrypted radios. Something like Stormy Venom or Jell-O Jiggler.
Anywho ... to top it off, there's a stink rising over whether the White House advance team was involved in the incident or any incidents of their own -- overnight guests, additional room charges, etc. If you're gonna throw military and Secret Service under the bus, you're gonna throw everybody under the stinkin' bus!
I'm running straight on assumptions but I don't think these men should party-hardy when it's their job to secure Barry O. Maybe they had a night or two off but how well can you do your job with a killer hangover and a raging case of Syphilis? (Luckily drug tests for illegal substances came back negative so ... there's that.) I understand humans need down time but prostitutes and boozin' in a foreign country when you're on an important mission for the U.S. government? Who knows if these women are gonna steal their encrypted radios or identification lapel pins or any other secrets -- if these men had juicy secrets to spill (loose lips sink ships!) -- or blackmail the men or WHO KNOWS. Yeah maybe the sensitive stuff is protected but, again, who knows? Lots of documents, laptops, thumb drives, badges to keep accounted! Why take the risk?
Maybe I've watched too many episodes of "Locked Up Abroad" ... Maybe you think, well they are Secret Service agents so wouldn't they know what to do? Obviously not since they got caught because one of them offered a sizzling senorita street walker (Dania Saurez) $30 instead of the previously agreed $800 for a tag team primetime event. Pretty pathetic way to get in trouble, don't ya think? And, honestly, what a tightwad!
Bottom line: bone prostitutes and get wasted on your own time gentleman!
One of the men brought a woman back to the Hilton Cartagena, where Barry O later stayed. It's not certain whether she was a prostitute but come on! She was some rando! As for the other women who were prostitutes, the investigation revealed these women didn't know the men were Secret Service. Umm ... let's say these women were paid by someone naughty to seduce these men and get U.S. secrets or were part of some blackmail ring of doom. Do you think they'd spill the beans after the fact? Especially since there is a huge problem with cocaine entering the U.S. from Colombia -- Pablo Escobar ring a bell? How do drug dealers typically launder their money? Through brothels so ... you do the math.
Also, maybe you're thinking, well, isn't prostitution legal in Colombia? In most cases, yes. However, it's barred in the military and it's a breach of conduct for Secret Service members.
On top of everything else, do you honestly think this is the first time something like this happened? Secret Service and the military be boning and boozing all over the world, son! Also, how embarrassing is this for the U.S.? You have soldiers posing with dismembered Afghans like they are on a Disney vacation with their family (smile for the camera!), you got the soldier who shot and killed 17 Afghan civilians while they slept in their bed, and now this? Maybe they're right and America is filled with jerks.
