I keep hearing this McDonalds commercial on the radio: A young black man won't share his 20-piece chicken nuggets with his black girlfriend. She keeps asking him to share but he ignores her and offers increasingly outrageous things in lieu of the nuggets: his flat screen TV, his car. When he eventually offers marriage, she stops nagging and accepts his proposal to which he replies, "Well OK then."
Really? Your nuggets ain't all that Mickey Ds.
However, it's not this aspect of the commercial causing the most irritation. Why do McDonalds commercials on TV and radio feature stereotypical black people? All of them, including the commercial I referenced. They use stereotypical black language and stereotypical situations.
It reminds me of a recent episode of "The Good Wife." The main character's husband, Peter, is running for political office and basing his advertisements on the population he needs to vote for him. Keep in mind he is a rich white dude with a white wife. His website is filled with pictures of black people, he has a black preacher for "spiritual guidance," when making speeches he makes sure to discuss his time in jail, etc. When the polls change and he needs a different population to vote for him, his website is soon filled with slap happy white people. With this in mind, his campaign manager doesn't want his son and his son's black girlfriend to become public knowledge since he seeks the "suburban white vote."
This is an honest portrayal of politics and advertising and it's ridiculous. I don't understand why black people see a commercial featuring black people and think, "Oh that's for me." Like the McDonalds commercials or Peter's political ads in "The Good Wife." Oh, they're the same color as me so that's that! Game over! This product or person is obviously for me.
Let's take Tyler Perry and his ignorant television shows and movies. The characters he creates scream racism. He uses stereotypes that make his characters look stupid and further create a barrier between races but because he's black it's OK. I don't understand how this is OK but Don Imus saying "look at those nappy headed hoes" is not OK. Oh wait, it's because Imus is white.
Some may argue Perry is trying to make these stereotypes humorous so people don't see it as negative but wasn't Imus? This is hypocritical.
Some may argue black people should not assimilate, just as people from other backgrounds shouldn't, but celebrate their culture and differences. Why would they want to watch a TV show or movie with a bunch of white people? That's fine but why does Perry become Richie Rich over exploiting their stereotypes?
Racism is taboo in the U.S. As a society, we must get over this in order to advance as a civilization, especially with our large mix of cultures -- the melting pot.
If people didn't make race such a big deal then it wouldn't be such a big deal. I'm talking race as in she is black and he is white, not racism, as in bigotry. There is a fine line between making stereotypical humor, i.e. nappy headed hoes, and saying something born out of pure hatred based on ethnicity or skin color. There are inappropriate comments and then there's when your car breaks down on the side of the road and a person of a specific ethnicity stops to help and you don't want their help because of this difference, that's racist.
The Al Sharpton's of the world, you are advancing hatred and putting coin in your pocket by harping on anything with even a hint of racism. Sharpton is getting his face on TV and people to rally his cause, come to his church, buy his books. It's schtick. It would be better if people kept their mouths shut but this will not happen. You gotta be outrageous and controversial to get attention. People are going to say outrageous stuff but it's all about how we react. It's about stopping hypocritical double-standards and using common sense. But how when McDonalds stereotypical commercials and Tyler Perry's stereotypical attempt at comedy are readily accepted but not Don Imus' comment? Will it ever get better?
Monday, March 28, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
Alcohol: Drinking to excess
From 1920 to 1933 it was prohibited in the U. S. of A. It has helped you relax for an evening, caused you great joy and great pain, kept you from getting to work on time or at all, caused you embarrassment and helped ease a shy disposition. I'm talking booze, hooch, the sauce, the hard stuff. You know ... krunk juice, tippling on grandpa's cough syrup, having a nightcap, white lightning, spirits.
On the topic of booze, I'm specifically interested in this phenomenon: you have a hard night of drinking ending in thinking or verbally expressing this sentiment, "I am never drinking again." Whether it's from a terrible hangover, with your statement only heard as a soft echo from the toilet collecting your vomit, or embarrassment from acting inappropriate due to intoxication, you are convinced. You are sick, literally and/or emotionally, from drinking. The mathematical equation is simple: Drinking + Excess = Disappointment. Take excess out and you won't have disappointment.
Sounds simple enough. So, why does time erase memory? You don't forget about the night in question but slowly become less convinced and in a couple days or weeks, or maybe you go a month, you are drinking again. The burning question is: why?
Why do we drink so much? Logically, we know the next day is going to be largely unproductive, spent indoors, eating poorly and wasting time watching reruns on Lifetime or playing video games. We know this. We know on the "day after" we will scold ourselves for getting "too drunk" and, in turn, wasting a perfectly good Saturday or weekday or whatever. It's a vicious cycle.
We drink to excess because drinking is a quick fix to our problems. Yeah, tomorrow is probably going to suck but right now I could be feeling good if I had a couple beers or glasses of wine or mixed drinks. And after one drink you get to feeling pretty righteous and another drink sounds even better! I'm feeling this good now so I could feel even better with another drink! It's like a credit card. I will have to pay later, with interest, but I can have this shit now, right now! Heck yeah!
We want things now, we want to feel good now, we want instant satisfaction. That is what the world has become. We want food delivered, we want lawns mowed by somebody else, our boobs filled with silicone, our houses cleaned by Consuela, media instantly on the Internet. We want to be pleased. Even though drinking isn't a solution (when we wake up tomorrow we will have a hangover and the same problems as yesterday -- and maybe a few new ones) but at least for an hour or so we can be in La La Land drunk off our ass.
On the topic of booze, I'm specifically interested in this phenomenon: you have a hard night of drinking ending in thinking or verbally expressing this sentiment, "I am never drinking again." Whether it's from a terrible hangover, with your statement only heard as a soft echo from the toilet collecting your vomit, or embarrassment from acting inappropriate due to intoxication, you are convinced. You are sick, literally and/or emotionally, from drinking. The mathematical equation is simple: Drinking + Excess = Disappointment. Take excess out and you won't have disappointment.
Sounds simple enough. So, why does time erase memory? You don't forget about the night in question but slowly become less convinced and in a couple days or weeks, or maybe you go a month, you are drinking again. The burning question is: why?
Why do we drink so much? Logically, we know the next day is going to be largely unproductive, spent indoors, eating poorly and wasting time watching reruns on Lifetime or playing video games. We know this. We know on the "day after" we will scold ourselves for getting "too drunk" and, in turn, wasting a perfectly good Saturday or weekday or whatever. It's a vicious cycle.
We drink to excess because drinking is a quick fix to our problems. Yeah, tomorrow is probably going to suck but right now I could be feeling good if I had a couple beers or glasses of wine or mixed drinks. And after one drink you get to feeling pretty righteous and another drink sounds even better! I'm feeling this good now so I could feel even better with another drink! It's like a credit card. I will have to pay later, with interest, but I can have this shit now, right now! Heck yeah!
We want things now, we want to feel good now, we want instant satisfaction. That is what the world has become. We want food delivered, we want lawns mowed by somebody else, our boobs filled with silicone, our houses cleaned by Consuela, media instantly on the Internet. We want to be pleased. Even though drinking isn't a solution (when we wake up tomorrow we will have a hangover and the same problems as yesterday -- and maybe a few new ones) but at least for an hour or so we can be in La La Land drunk off our ass.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Chris Brown, show us you're sorry
It's been a little over two years since Chris Brown turned himself into the LAPD while under investigation for domestic violence against Rihanna. You probably saw the leaked pictures of her extremely bruised and swollen face.
Even after accepting a plea deal of community service and five years probation, which caused much disappointment among the public and anti-domestic violence groups, Brown never showed remorse. Sure, he said he was sorry in a YouTube video and a pre-recorded interview on Larry King Live. He seemed to be moving on, releasing albums and doing well professionally, until March 22 when, after an interview on Good Morning America where he was asked about Rihanna and his restraining order, and before his second scheduled performance, Brown threw a chair through a window in his dressing room, ripped off his shirt and fought with the show's staff before leaving the building topless. Brown later Tweeted he was over people bringing this "past shit up! Yet we praise Charlie Sheen and other celebs for" their "bullshit." The comment was soon deleted.
OK little boy, first off Good Morning America isn't "people," it's a news and talk show reaching millions of Americans, people you need to convince you are past your domestic violence days. This wasn't a way to achieve this goal. Also, you are not Charlie Sheen, who is using his wild partying ways to achieve further popularity. He is owning it. You cowardly beat up your girlfriend and then want people to believe that's not who you are. You want people to feel sorry for you because you had a difficult childhood. You aren't sorry for what you did but you want us to believe you are and forget the whole thing happened so you can go back to making millions and recording ho-hum hip-hop. Much different scenario.
You talk and talk, Tweet and post on YouTube, bitch and moan, complain, boo hoo, nobody can get past the 2009 incident, boo hoo. Actions speak louder than words.
Show the world you are a mature, level-minded individual. Show them you are past the incident. You had your Good Morning America stint 50% right ... when asked about the incident, just say something like, "I'd rather talk about my new album." Show us your maturity level has grown. This won't happen overnight, as you know, but you need to take it one day at a time and stop being an impatient child. You were not over the incident (i.e. someone asked you about it and you threw an over-the-top hissy fit) and because of this you ruined your progress. You are back at square one and it's your fault. You are a recovering alcoholic that fell off the wagon.
You remind me of poetry classes I took in college. My teacher would always say, "show don't tell." In a poem, don't write "I'm happy" but show us you are happy. First step, work on yourself, release your demons and own up to your actions. Then you can grow and show the world how mature and talented you claim to be. Otherwise, this is going to keep happening and each fall will hurt worse.
Even after accepting a plea deal of community service and five years probation, which caused much disappointment among the public and anti-domestic violence groups, Brown never showed remorse. Sure, he said he was sorry in a YouTube video and a pre-recorded interview on Larry King Live. He seemed to be moving on, releasing albums and doing well professionally, until March 22 when, after an interview on Good Morning America where he was asked about Rihanna and his restraining order, and before his second scheduled performance, Brown threw a chair through a window in his dressing room, ripped off his shirt and fought with the show's staff before leaving the building topless. Brown later Tweeted he was over people bringing this "past shit up! Yet we praise Charlie Sheen and other celebs for" their "bullshit." The comment was soon deleted.
OK little boy, first off Good Morning America isn't "people," it's a news and talk show reaching millions of Americans, people you need to convince you are past your domestic violence days. This wasn't a way to achieve this goal. Also, you are not Charlie Sheen, who is using his wild partying ways to achieve further popularity. He is owning it. You cowardly beat up your girlfriend and then want people to believe that's not who you are. You want people to feel sorry for you because you had a difficult childhood. You aren't sorry for what you did but you want us to believe you are and forget the whole thing happened so you can go back to making millions and recording ho-hum hip-hop. Much different scenario.
You talk and talk, Tweet and post on YouTube, bitch and moan, complain, boo hoo, nobody can get past the 2009 incident, boo hoo. Actions speak louder than words.
Show the world you are a mature, level-minded individual. Show them you are past the incident. You had your Good Morning America stint 50% right ... when asked about the incident, just say something like, "I'd rather talk about my new album." Show us your maturity level has grown. This won't happen overnight, as you know, but you need to take it one day at a time and stop being an impatient child. You were not over the incident (i.e. someone asked you about it and you threw an over-the-top hissy fit) and because of this you ruined your progress. You are back at square one and it's your fault. You are a recovering alcoholic that fell off the wagon.
You remind me of poetry classes I took in college. My teacher would always say, "show don't tell." In a poem, don't write "I'm happy" but show us you are happy. First step, work on yourself, release your demons and own up to your actions. Then you can grow and show the world how mature and talented you claim to be. Otherwise, this is going to keep happening and each fall will hurt worse.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Lessons from Japan's tsunami
Don't fret my pets. This won't be an insensitive low blow like Gilbert "Trying to Stay Relevant" Gottfried's Tweets, "Japan is really advanced. They don't go to the beach, the beach comes to them" or "I just split up with my girlfriend but, like the Japanese say, 'They'll be another one floating by any minute now."
Or Glenn Beck saying it's God's work and a message was sent by way of the natural disaster. Let me send you a message by way of my extended middle finger Mister Beck.
Or 50 Cent Tweeting, "Wave will hit 8 am them crazy white boys gonna try to go surfing" and "Look this is very serious people I had to evacuate all my hoe's from LA, Hawaii and Japan. I had to do it. lol"
The biggest shame -- besides their cruel remarks (or lazy remarks, also known as look-at-me look-at-me Tweets) -- is these "celebrities" don't use their status to raise money or supplies for the victims and the devastated landscape. Thousands of dead bodies are washing up on shore. There is an application -- Japanese Quake People Finder -- where people can search for loved ones, dead or alive, and you use your celebrity to make ignorant remarks and increase America's desensitization to horrific events. Beyond lame -- even lamer when you apologize afterwards. Yeah, sure, you apologize after newscasters and journalists across the world rip you a new one. Day late, dollar short.
Anyway, when I learned of the disaster I felt -- besides shock and sorrow -- my life slow as if someone or something pressed pause on a magical VCR in the sky, attempting to center my thoughts around such a unfathomable event. You can work yourself dizzy -- yard work, cleaning your house or apartment or wherever you call home, putting in hard days at your job so you can be a weekend warrior! Gotta make dat money! Running errands, saving moolah to buy a new car or have a baby, all with goals in mind to perfect your little life, your little corner of the world. All thoughts focused on your life and inner circle of friends and family.
Think about your day. What happened? What did you worry about? Were you late for work? Did something bad happen where you responded, "just my luck!" Did you have major road rage? Were you rude to someone? Do you have regrets? Did you cheat on your diet or, even worse, your spouse?
Think about all this. Would any of this matter if a hurricane came and washed everything away? Or a tsunami or other natural disaster? A giant tidal wave washes away everything in your snow globe of a world and you are left, hopefully, with your life. You don't recognize the landscape or where your house or car or whatever was, it's replaced with debris and chaos. Without this recognition, you feel empty, you feel lost.
I looked at my childhood home today and wondered how I would feel if the property was unrecognizable. Would all my memories disappear too? Would I feel disconnected? I have a hard time wrapping my mind around this one.
It reminds me of the "Clan of the Cave Bear" book series (which is a great series filled with drama, hot love and history). In this historical series of books based on the theory of major interaction between Neanderthals and first early modern humans, the characters are concerned with survival. Hunting and gathering enough food to feed their family and tribe, working together to live through cold winters and animal attacks. It is universally believed humans advanced extremely far from this meager beginning. Most of us have shelter against the cold with heat and thick walls, we drive cars, we buy food from the grocery store with currency, etc. but Mother Nature still is far bigger, better and badder than us all. A natural disaster can wash away our entire lives and there's nothing we can do except try to predict the date and time and have an escape route.
This also reminds me of a recent Oprah episode I found when channel surfing. I don't usually watch the Big O, mostly because she has an over-inflated ego the size of her fat ass, but her topic was something not often explored with a naked lens: nuns. The Dominican Sisters of Mary were featured in this episode but, more interesting, was the episode's main subject matter of women joining the nunnery. Girls as young as 16 were giving their lives to Christ. They must leave their families and become fully dedicated, including leaving all technology and their previous lives behind -- cell phones, Facebook, e-mail, smartphones, clothing, shoes, makeup, jewelry. They have their nun outfit to wear everyday. It takes a year of study and sacrifice before they have their big ceremony -- marrying Jesus Christ.
It reminds me of the saying, you are supposed to love God more than everything including your loved ones. As a society, we are centered on our family and material possessions and rely heavily on other people and things to make our world go round: fossil fuels, farmers, etc. Could we give it all up if we had to? Whether you believe in God or not, a tsunami could come and wash away your whole life, everything you've worked for and stressed over and fought for and you will be left with only your life. Would that be enough? All of your life is destroyed in a tsunami, everything. Would you still be you if everything you base your life on, everything you rely on is gone? What makes you, you?
Or Glenn Beck saying it's God's work and a message was sent by way of the natural disaster. Let me send you a message by way of my extended middle finger Mister Beck.
Or 50 Cent Tweeting, "Wave will hit 8 am them crazy white boys gonna try to go surfing" and "Look this is very serious people I had to evacuate all my hoe's from LA, Hawaii and Japan. I had to do it. lol"
The biggest shame -- besides their cruel remarks (or lazy remarks, also known as look-at-me look-at-me Tweets) -- is these "celebrities" don't use their status to raise money or supplies for the victims and the devastated landscape. Thousands of dead bodies are washing up on shore. There is an application -- Japanese Quake People Finder -- where people can search for loved ones, dead or alive, and you use your celebrity to make ignorant remarks and increase America's desensitization to horrific events. Beyond lame -- even lamer when you apologize afterwards. Yeah, sure, you apologize after newscasters and journalists across the world rip you a new one. Day late, dollar short.
Anyway, when I learned of the disaster I felt -- besides shock and sorrow -- my life slow as if someone or something pressed pause on a magical VCR in the sky, attempting to center my thoughts around such a unfathomable event. You can work yourself dizzy -- yard work, cleaning your house or apartment or wherever you call home, putting in hard days at your job so you can be a weekend warrior! Gotta make dat money! Running errands, saving moolah to buy a new car or have a baby, all with goals in mind to perfect your little life, your little corner of the world. All thoughts focused on your life and inner circle of friends and family.
Think about your day. What happened? What did you worry about? Were you late for work? Did something bad happen where you responded, "just my luck!" Did you have major road rage? Were you rude to someone? Do you have regrets? Did you cheat on your diet or, even worse, your spouse?
Think about all this. Would any of this matter if a hurricane came and washed everything away? Or a tsunami or other natural disaster? A giant tidal wave washes away everything in your snow globe of a world and you are left, hopefully, with your life. You don't recognize the landscape or where your house or car or whatever was, it's replaced with debris and chaos. Without this recognition, you feel empty, you feel lost.
I looked at my childhood home today and wondered how I would feel if the property was unrecognizable. Would all my memories disappear too? Would I feel disconnected? I have a hard time wrapping my mind around this one.
It reminds me of the "Clan of the Cave Bear" book series (which is a great series filled with drama, hot love and history). In this historical series of books based on the theory of major interaction between Neanderthals and first early modern humans, the characters are concerned with survival. Hunting and gathering enough food to feed their family and tribe, working together to live through cold winters and animal attacks. It is universally believed humans advanced extremely far from this meager beginning. Most of us have shelter against the cold with heat and thick walls, we drive cars, we buy food from the grocery store with currency, etc. but Mother Nature still is far bigger, better and badder than us all. A natural disaster can wash away our entire lives and there's nothing we can do except try to predict the date and time and have an escape route.
This also reminds me of a recent Oprah episode I found when channel surfing. I don't usually watch the Big O, mostly because she has an over-inflated ego the size of her fat ass, but her topic was something not often explored with a naked lens: nuns. The Dominican Sisters of Mary were featured in this episode but, more interesting, was the episode's main subject matter of women joining the nunnery. Girls as young as 16 were giving their lives to Christ. They must leave their families and become fully dedicated, including leaving all technology and their previous lives behind -- cell phones, Facebook, e-mail, smartphones, clothing, shoes, makeup, jewelry. They have their nun outfit to wear everyday. It takes a year of study and sacrifice before they have their big ceremony -- marrying Jesus Christ.
It reminds me of the saying, you are supposed to love God more than everything including your loved ones. As a society, we are centered on our family and material possessions and rely heavily on other people and things to make our world go round: fossil fuels, farmers, etc. Could we give it all up if we had to? Whether you believe in God or not, a tsunami could come and wash away your whole life, everything you've worked for and stressed over and fought for and you will be left with only your life. Would that be enough? All of your life is destroyed in a tsunami, everything. Would you still be you if everything you base your life on, everything you rely on is gone? What makes you, you?
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
How rude!
Although this topic reminds me of Stephanie Tanner's character from the TV show "Full House" -- who was known for saying "How rude!" and, later in real life as Jodie Sweetin, for a meth addiction (how ironic) -- it also has me confused. Are people getting ruder?
You may consider it bad luck or a bad day on my part but recently an afternoon running errands featured rude people in every nook and cranny: the parking lot, two different stores, out on the road. It ranged from a woman screaming at her young children in a well-known store, "if you don't get back here I'm gonna f***ing hit you in the face with my fists" (I'm serious) to a woman cutting out in front of me in a parking lot and yelling at me for looking annoyed to a woman in another well-known store blatantly cutting in front of me in line with no apology.
I thought, well ... maybe this is a coincidence but, as I considered the past few weeks and months, turned this idea down in favor of a rise in rudeness.
So let's say we agree people are ruder these days. What is the reason for this phenomenon?
In the words of the Riddler, RIDDLE ME THIS ...
Maybe the rudeness surge is linked to a basic part of emotional development: parents don't stress the importance of good manners. I took etiquette and dance class when I was young, probably because my mom hoped the cure for my tomboy-ism was a lacquered faced blonde stressing proper introductions, table settings and Cha-Cha form every Friday after school. Luckily (for 9-year-old me who was interested in ditching the Laura Ashley dresses for reading sci-fi, swimming in the creek and playing sports) after three years of study I hid the annual mailed invitation and feigned ignorance as to why I wasn't invited back. However, I learned a lot that stuck with me and helped me out everywhere, from work to social settings, so thanks mom! But I digress.
The possibility of parents not stressing good manners accounts for rude people, not those in the midst of a bad day or preoccupied in thought. Also, parents can teach their kids all they want but once the youth meet other kids, who knows what they will pick up? Hey, Billy's older brother let him borrow a Playboy, wanna sneak a peak? Thus comes the importance of open conversations with your kids and involvement in their lives. Also, many parents say one thing and do the opposite: do as I say not as I do. You can tell your kid to be nice to people, even chastise them when they are rude, but when they witness you being mean to someone they will copy your actions, not your words!
Or maybe we are so focused on our lives and busy schedules we don't think about other people. You are in a store and what is on your mind: items on your list, other items you see and want to buy but don't need, your evening plans, your day thus far, the meaning of life, something you're dreading, the hottie in aisle 3, the recent fight you had with your spouse, regretting not putting on makeup and a decent outfit since you just saw someone you haven't seen for a long time and you know you look a hot mess .... and so on. Preoccupied thought doesn't necessarily mean you are rude, it means you have a lot on your mind since most people fill their lives with this, that and the other to excess. As I have told my significant other before: you are ACTING like a jerk, doesn't mean you are a jerk, it means currently you are acting like one.
Next time you are in a store, look around. Pick someone at random and guess what is going on in their life. Maybe nothing extreme or maybe their father is dying of cancer or their husband just left them for a younger woman or maybe they are suffering from low self-esteem or ... maybe they are just a rude jerk.
Although most rude people are found behind the wheel of their automobiles, rolling down the highway as if they are at an amusement park and this is one wild version of bumper cars, there is a weird sense of comfort when in your car, as if you can do whatever you want (ROAD RAGE) and there are no consequences since you are safe in a bubble. Getting stuck behind some asshat going 45 mph in a well labeled 55 mph zone, and you can't pass them for miles, which in turn feels like hours, and when you finally do pass and glare at them as your car speeds along you find yourself behind another asshat in mere minutes. You yell, you sigh loudly, roll your eyes, you scream, you say things you don't mean since you have no idea who that person is or why they are driving slow (slow for you). It's the ultimate safety zone for all aggression unless they get out of their car at the next stoplight and race towards you with a Glock and an itchy trigger finger.
Or maybe people are rude because we are obsessed with our own lives. Not as in we have too much going on so our mind is filled to the brim with friendships, appointments, work, play, etc. We are a race of egomaniacs, of people binging on anti-depressants and alcohol, pain killers and fast food. We want it all and we want it now! We want to be happy all day, everyday. You know, the happiness you see in movies. Shiny happy people. If you don't believe me then put your TiVo remote down and watch commercials, which directly prey on your innermost desires and attempt to trick you into buying things you don't need. What do they offer? Eat whatever you want and lose weight! Perfumes and makeup to make you beautiful, booze to make you the life of the party and get you laid, fast food that looks delicious but mysteriously not how it looks (or tastes) when you go out and buy it, happy families out to dinner together or at some amusement park or on vacation. So painfully happy. If you eat at McDonalds or drink Budweiser or go on vacation, you too can be happy.
We are hyper-focused on our feelings, with our sights aimed directly inward. I was cranky today and a bit on edge. One might say I was driving the bitter bus. Instead of looking at contributing outside factors (i.e. traffic was a bitch today, my eye doctor doesn't have my contacts ready for pick up, the same ones I paid for three months ago and have been waiting for as I wear my stupid glasses out and about, etc.), it is easier to think I am depressed and need a pill to boost my attitude. No one (normal person) wants to be sad or angry or bitter, I would rather spend my day in a pleasant mood with a good attitude but I did not and that's OK. Not every day is going to be a handbag full of rainbows and people need to realize this and act accordingly.
This is not to say anti-depressants should be banned. On the contrary, many people need them and have chemical imbalances. However, it is adversity that makes us stronger. When the going gets tough, the tough get going. (Cliche but still true). You can play hide and seek with life and dull your emotions with pills or alcohol but it's going to make things worse.
These rude people who are focused inward and egotistical, wake up and look outside yourself. You are stuck in traffic and someone ahead is going slow, holding YOU up, wasting YOUR time, in YOUR way. It ain't all about you sunshine. This isn't to say this person shouldn't speed up already but you have to get past this way of thinking or you are going to be screaming your head off at the person in front of you and have a freakin' heart attack over 5 mph. Is that worth your anger? Next time you get mad or are about to be rude, check yourself. Is this really worth negative energy?
This isn't to say you should be Mary F-ing Sunshine to every Dick, Jane and Sally but know when you are spinning your wheels. First, try being nice to people who mean something to you, your friends and family. Pick your battles. Next time you are about to be rude, think: am I being rude because this situation warrants it or because I'm upset about something else? If you don't do this your emotions are going to become so out of whack you won't know why you are upset. Check yourself before you wreck yourself.
Do as I say, not as I do because those asshats from the other day, well I believe in karma, so those rude people are going to have some bad juju coming back at them. HA!
You may consider it bad luck or a bad day on my part but recently an afternoon running errands featured rude people in every nook and cranny: the parking lot, two different stores, out on the road. It ranged from a woman screaming at her young children in a well-known store, "if you don't get back here I'm gonna f***ing hit you in the face with my fists" (I'm serious) to a woman cutting out in front of me in a parking lot and yelling at me for looking annoyed to a woman in another well-known store blatantly cutting in front of me in line with no apology.
I thought, well ... maybe this is a coincidence but, as I considered the past few weeks and months, turned this idea down in favor of a rise in rudeness.
So let's say we agree people are ruder these days. What is the reason for this phenomenon?
In the words of the Riddler, RIDDLE ME THIS ...
Maybe the rudeness surge is linked to a basic part of emotional development: parents don't stress the importance of good manners. I took etiquette and dance class when I was young, probably because my mom hoped the cure for my tomboy-ism was a lacquered faced blonde stressing proper introductions, table settings and Cha-Cha form every Friday after school. Luckily (for 9-year-old me who was interested in ditching the Laura Ashley dresses for reading sci-fi, swimming in the creek and playing sports) after three years of study I hid the annual mailed invitation and feigned ignorance as to why I wasn't invited back. However, I learned a lot that stuck with me and helped me out everywhere, from work to social settings, so thanks mom! But I digress.
The possibility of parents not stressing good manners accounts for rude people, not those in the midst of a bad day or preoccupied in thought. Also, parents can teach their kids all they want but once the youth meet other kids, who knows what they will pick up? Hey, Billy's older brother let him borrow a Playboy, wanna sneak a peak? Thus comes the importance of open conversations with your kids and involvement in their lives. Also, many parents say one thing and do the opposite: do as I say not as I do. You can tell your kid to be nice to people, even chastise them when they are rude, but when they witness you being mean to someone they will copy your actions, not your words!
Or maybe we are so focused on our lives and busy schedules we don't think about other people. You are in a store and what is on your mind: items on your list, other items you see and want to buy but don't need, your evening plans, your day thus far, the meaning of life, something you're dreading, the hottie in aisle 3, the recent fight you had with your spouse, regretting not putting on makeup and a decent outfit since you just saw someone you haven't seen for a long time and you know you look a hot mess .... and so on. Preoccupied thought doesn't necessarily mean you are rude, it means you have a lot on your mind since most people fill their lives with this, that and the other to excess. As I have told my significant other before: you are ACTING like a jerk, doesn't mean you are a jerk, it means currently you are acting like one.
Next time you are in a store, look around. Pick someone at random and guess what is going on in their life. Maybe nothing extreme or maybe their father is dying of cancer or their husband just left them for a younger woman or maybe they are suffering from low self-esteem or ... maybe they are just a rude jerk.
Although most rude people are found behind the wheel of their automobiles, rolling down the highway as if they are at an amusement park and this is one wild version of bumper cars, there is a weird sense of comfort when in your car, as if you can do whatever you want (ROAD RAGE) and there are no consequences since you are safe in a bubble. Getting stuck behind some asshat going 45 mph in a well labeled 55 mph zone, and you can't pass them for miles, which in turn feels like hours, and when you finally do pass and glare at them as your car speeds along you find yourself behind another asshat in mere minutes. You yell, you sigh loudly, roll your eyes, you scream, you say things you don't mean since you have no idea who that person is or why they are driving slow (slow for you). It's the ultimate safety zone for all aggression unless they get out of their car at the next stoplight and race towards you with a Glock and an itchy trigger finger.
Or maybe people are rude because we are obsessed with our own lives. Not as in we have too much going on so our mind is filled to the brim with friendships, appointments, work, play, etc. We are a race of egomaniacs, of people binging on anti-depressants and alcohol, pain killers and fast food. We want it all and we want it now! We want to be happy all day, everyday. You know, the happiness you see in movies. Shiny happy people. If you don't believe me then put your TiVo remote down and watch commercials, which directly prey on your innermost desires and attempt to trick you into buying things you don't need. What do they offer? Eat whatever you want and lose weight! Perfumes and makeup to make you beautiful, booze to make you the life of the party and get you laid, fast food that looks delicious but mysteriously not how it looks (or tastes) when you go out and buy it, happy families out to dinner together or at some amusement park or on vacation. So painfully happy. If you eat at McDonalds or drink Budweiser or go on vacation, you too can be happy.
We are hyper-focused on our feelings, with our sights aimed directly inward. I was cranky today and a bit on edge. One might say I was driving the bitter bus. Instead of looking at contributing outside factors (i.e. traffic was a bitch today, my eye doctor doesn't have my contacts ready for pick up, the same ones I paid for three months ago and have been waiting for as I wear my stupid glasses out and about, etc.), it is easier to think I am depressed and need a pill to boost my attitude. No one (normal person) wants to be sad or angry or bitter, I would rather spend my day in a pleasant mood with a good attitude but I did not and that's OK. Not every day is going to be a handbag full of rainbows and people need to realize this and act accordingly.
This is not to say anti-depressants should be banned. On the contrary, many people need them and have chemical imbalances. However, it is adversity that makes us stronger. When the going gets tough, the tough get going. (Cliche but still true). You can play hide and seek with life and dull your emotions with pills or alcohol but it's going to make things worse.
These rude people who are focused inward and egotistical, wake up and look outside yourself. You are stuck in traffic and someone ahead is going slow, holding YOU up, wasting YOUR time, in YOUR way. It ain't all about you sunshine. This isn't to say this person shouldn't speed up already but you have to get past this way of thinking or you are going to be screaming your head off at the person in front of you and have a freakin' heart attack over 5 mph. Is that worth your anger? Next time you get mad or are about to be rude, check yourself. Is this really worth negative energy?
This isn't to say you should be Mary F-ing Sunshine to every Dick, Jane and Sally but know when you are spinning your wheels. First, try being nice to people who mean something to you, your friends and family. Pick your battles. Next time you are about to be rude, think: am I being rude because this situation warrants it or because I'm upset about something else? If you don't do this your emotions are going to become so out of whack you won't know why you are upset. Check yourself before you wreck yourself.
Do as I say, not as I do because those asshats from the other day, well I believe in karma, so those rude people are going to have some bad juju coming back at them. HA!
Friday, March 4, 2011
Mike Myers keeping secrets
Internet news channels are buzzing today with reports that Mike Myers (the funny one not Michael Myers from the popular slasher films as well as my sweaty nightmares) duped us all and got hitched five months ago to longtime girlfriend Kelly Tisdale. He chose not to make the news public until now -- confirming their union to Page Six of The New York Post.
Bravo! Am I the only one tired of celebrity weddings being smeared across magazine covers and a staple on entertainment news television? Call me crazy but I thought a wedding is supposed to be about two people choosing to spend the rest of their lives together. That's some serious shit. So, why make it into a spectacle unless you and/or your relationship is already a spectacle?
Although Myers is known for being low-key and this is his second wedding, I think his secrecy is great and more celebrities should take note to make this a trend!
Bravo! Am I the only one tired of celebrity weddings being smeared across magazine covers and a staple on entertainment news television? Call me crazy but I thought a wedding is supposed to be about two people choosing to spend the rest of their lives together. That's some serious shit. So, why make it into a spectacle unless you and/or your relationship is already a spectacle?
Although Myers is known for being low-key and this is his second wedding, I think his secrecy is great and more celebrities should take note to make this a trend!
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Charlie Sheen, Christina Aguilera and celebrity
She's being called Christina Drunk-i-lera. Rumors were flowing after her failure attempting to sing the "National Anthem" at the Super Bowl and her slightly overweight appearance (which I am labeling "overweight" when compared to her body beforehand) but now there's evidence: she's a drunk, or so says the L.A. County Sheriff's Department. She was arrested for public intoxication (sources say because she was too drunk to be in public and no one was available to take care of her), while her current boy-toy was arrested for drunk driving. This news gave the hungry public a minor distraction from the It Boy of the Moment: Charlie Sheen.
Strippers, drugs, alcohol, rambling and ranting interviews on radio shows and TV to further feed his enormous ego. No one seems surprised -- especially if you look at his history filled with porn star girlfriends, prostitutes, domestic violence, rehab, cocaine addiction, and reps filled with excuses for his bad behavior.
What I don't get is why Sheen is being obsessed over and indirectly praised as if he's some hero, the ultimate guys guy who handles strippers like most men can only dream about and express in fake letters to Penthouse. It reminds me of college when guys slept around and it was natural and praised, complete with high fives and embellished re-tellings, but when girls slept around they were labeled sluts. A girl could not possibly have a libido and be looking for pleasure. Nonsense! That's a guy thing!
Just look at "Two and A Half Men" where Charlie Sheen's character is basically him except the cigarettes and cocaine are replaced with cigars and alcohol and the girls are not full-on prostitutes. Millions of Americans laugh week in and week out (well not anymore) at his hijinks. However it's more than just men vs. women with the Sheen obsession.
Sheen is being praised because he still has lots of money, a famous family to fall back on and is doing what he wants. He's not Gary Busey (yet) or some other D-lister ready for a stint on "Celebrity Rehab." We (aka Joe Public) only see the fun side of those benders. It's like the movie "Basketball Diaries" with a young Leonardo DiCaprio. Doing drugs and drinking seems fun when he's sleeping with a beautiful girl his age and having the time of his life but not so much when he's on the street and addicted to heroin, willing to do anything to get more drugs.
Celebrities are like spoiled children who are given no consequences for their actions growing up. Drunk driving? Cocaine? Strippers? Prostitutes? All you need is a stint in rehab (aka vacation), get yourself together enough that the public buys that you are OK and go back to making millions of dollars and living a fabulous life. How lovely.
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