Sunday, January 27, 2013

The great gun debate smeared across social media: Magazines, guns, weapons, mass murder, NRA, second amendment, bullheaded nays and yays

Do you fancy yourself a gun enthusiast?  Are you the proud owner of a handgun, rifle, shotgun or, possibly, an arsenal including several magazines. Do you hunt or target shoot? Maybe you are staunchly anti-gun or don't see the need for magazines and assault weapons outside of the military. I don't care if you are John Rambo or Gandhi, whatever the case, stop talking about it on Facebook and Twitter as if you are an expert on the Second Amendment and life, the universe and everything. You aren't commenting about being a gun enthusiast or an anti-gun liberal. It's past the gun debate, it's past mass shootings and safety. You want attention and have no interest in starting a healthy conversation as you, most likely, claim because, other than a healthy debate, what's the point?
I don't care about your opinion if it's set in stone. I don't care about an obscure gun fact you copied and pasted from an article you read online. What's the goal behind John Q. Public Tweeting: "Goodbye free America, socialism here we come! Hold on to your guns people, they will be as valuable as gold very soon!" 
These rants come from a lack of education and ignorance. The more Americans devalue education and the more ignorance is celebrated, the more these types of things will happen -- could I sound like more of an old fart? Ignorance is celebrated, it's rewarded. People are paid millions of dollars to be idiots. What message does that send? Hey, I can rant online and suffer no consequence! People will pay attention to me like I'm a reality star! I'm never going to change my mind on anything, anytime, anywhere - people wear this gem like a badge of honor.
Morons go on social media and make ignorant comments because their moron friends applaud them. It's one thing to think something but quite another to share it with hundreds of people as if then, and only then, your opinions will matter. It's not polite in public but it sure as hell seems polite on ye ole Internet. Sure, people with differing views may comment but it's meaningless. No harm, no foul as responses are typed from keyboards or smartphones, a safe distance from face-to-face contact. Parents aren't willing to educate their kids and this is what you get - they didn't grow up in the Technology Age so they aren't sure what's happening. When I was a teenager, the most advanced technology were beepers and flip phones that, gasp, only made phone calls.
We are a nation of idiots who celebrate and idolize ignorance. The media doesn't celebrate Joe who finds common ground with others or Sally who is nice to everyone she meets - they celebrate John who is loud, proud and full of cheap flamboyance oozing from his pores.
I have views. I can compromise and respect other perspectives, to a point. Politics is supposed to be about bringing together differing ideologies to, eventually, compromise. Politicians should reach across the aisle. I'm here, you're there, let's meet over there. Each side feels like they gave something up but, in the end, they both end up better for having compromised.
The gun debate doesn't have to be everything or nothing. No one is coming to your home to take your guns, especially not the leader of the free world or a member of Congress. Similarly, no one is handing out assault weapons and magazines at the grocery store. It doesn't have to be everything or nothing -- like a fad diet, it will fail.
There are plenty of intelligent people who are responsible gun owners just as there are intelligent people who aren't gun owners. However, when talking about weapons designed to kill people, we should understand with great power comes great responsibility. The Constitution guarantees the right to bear arms. There are other freedoms guaranteed under the Constitution the courts regulate: freedom of speech and freedom of religion. Courts consistently say the Constitution is not absolute and not unlimited - that's why it can be amended.
So, there needs to be a discussion. Personally I don't see the need for assault weapons and magazines outside of the military but I'm just some jerk writing a blog. The powers that be need to discuss and examine guns in America, including gun violence. As for the common man, stop trying to pretend you want a healthy discussion on Facebook or Twitter. We all know you're lying. It ain't all about you princess.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Reluctance: Trust your gut or use your head?

Ever notice reluctance time travels? Reluctance: you're not filled to the brim with dread over something or someone but you, as children often whine, don't wanna! You huff and you puff, hem and haw, do a Napoleon Dynamite-worthy sigh, create semi-valid but wimpy excuses and rain checks in your mind ... it's borderline agony. Then you decide to throw your b.s. out the window and, as Larry the Cable Guy (Daniel Lawrence Whitney ... such a high brow name) loves to say, get 'er done. Oh, sorry. Larry spells it git-r-done - also the title of his book ... yes, he's written a book. He's so successful at getting it done he wrote a book about getting it done so we can all get it done like he does. What exactly is he getting done? Buying another camouflage hat or flannel button-down to de-sleeve? Perfecting his fake hillbilly accent? Creating a sequel to "Delta Farce?" Bankrolling the dumbing of America and Budweiser?
Anyway, before you know what's what, the source of your reluctance (exercise, making healthy choices, laundry, dishes, homework, spending time with someone who sucks) is in the past and you think ... what was the big deal? As Cousin Eddie's wife said in "Vacation" - "Oh, it's not so bad. Eddie says after the baby comes, I can quit one of my night jobs."
The worst part is agonizing over your reluctance.
I have a love, hate relationship with exercise, as do most people. I love it because it helps me to feel mentally and physically well - fitter, healthier and more productive. Endorphins, baby, shot straight through my heart like Bon Jovi's screams. En route to the gym, and throughout my workday, I craft excuses: I'll go tomorrow and even, gasp, on the weekend. I worked hard today makin dat dollar so deserve a night off. I'm an adult and it's OK to skip one night. I'm tired and I'm pretty sure I read a study exercising when tired is a big no-no - it was published last month in Dream On Lardass Magazine. Last, but certainly not least, I don't wanna - wah, sad face emoticon.
Who will win the battle of reluctance? One mind, two thoughts. I'm not picturing an angel and devil specifically but the two beings taking up residence in my dome are opposites who, unlike the saying, don't attract.
There's productive, healthy, intelligent, motivated me who is filled with life, love and vigor like a Hallmark card or a 365 inspirational quotes calendar - like looking at that shit once a day is going to make me less bitter. This persona believes the Almighty Glass is half full and cheats on their diet with one naughty meal a week and, sadly, its measurement on the Naughty Scale is lame-o. They workout often, don't make excuses, and fill the world with smiles, politeness and a good work ethic. They contribute to society and are grateful for the gift of life, family and friends.
Then there's the other me: still intelligent but unmotivated. They crave procrastination, alcohol and trans fat. This persona believes the glass is, and always will be, half empty and is known to make excuses. They fill the world with road rage, guilt and a PMS-attitude, and contemplate taking up smoking again as a weight loss supplement. They contribute to society but with the least amount of effort needed because, obviously, the world owes them a favor. Life's a bitch and then you die.
Sometimes my excuses trick me because I can almost craft them into being logical, like Spock worthy logic. I find it better not to go down Excuse Road because no good will come. It's like when you are in bed and can't fall asleep. You start doing the math: if I go to bed right now I can still get six hours, that's not bad. Did I lock the door - you go and check and find yourself checking every window and door in your home (I did this last night but only because I watched that new Kevin Bacon show "The Following" - creepy). This is when your inner philosopher is unleashed and your thoughts cover every aspect of life in full-on panic mode. Don't go down this road because it's filled with potholes, trolls asking for toll money, and creepy things that go bump in the night like excuses.
There's also the problem of: am I making an excuse or is my gut telling me something? Trust your gut ... how do I know when I'm trusting my gut or when I'm being a reluctant jerk or when I have heartburn from eating a burrito, taco, chips and salsa, and a 48 oz. margarita?
I read trash rags. I never claimed to be a literary mind. Anyway, I always chuckle at, among other things, comments made by celebrities. They act so high and mighty, like they aren't getting paid way too much money to recite lines and pretend for a few hours.
"I like to live life to the fullest and take chances."
Yeah, if Daniel Day Lewis said this, I would listen because he's amazing. If Megan Fox says this ... well, she's not a good actress but she's hot. Pretty easy to take a chance when you're famous and have lots of zeros looking back at you when checking your account balance. I wouldn't be reluctant to workout out either if I knew a fat paycheck relied on my body. So, what about the Common Man who finds themselves reluctant to skip a day of work for a trip or skip a night at the gym or quit their job or write-off a family member? Should we trust our gut?

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Video game violence: Newton, Conn. shooting, California high school shooting, mass murders, guns, culture of violence

My husband plays video games. No, this isn't a prelude to a hennish rant pleading for attention - love me, want me, need me. I don't want him to relinquish his PS3 controller for my womanly pursuits: dark chocolate, wine, trash rags and "Sex and the City."
I like that he plays video games. He works hard and deserves to relax - his way of unwinding is cleansing Raccoon City of Umbrella's abominations and saving the galaxy from the Reapers. Whatever floats his boat.
Yes, most of the video games he plays can be classified as violent. Violence has found its way into our homes and lives - on television, in movies, in the newspaper, in books and magazines. It's everywhere - we can't hide our children from violence but we can offer protection.
This violence in the media debate - the theory violent imagery in video games contributed to a culture of violence - reminds me of the attack on sexuality in America. The abstinence squad, the anti-birth control mafia, the anti-abortion crew - none of this works. Teens are going to have sex because biologically (as many conservatives love to use as their reasoning for anti-homosexuality remarks) humans explore their sexuality at the pre-teen age. We hit middle school and boys aren't so gross anymore, boobies are exciting, we have urges and feelings we don't quite understand. Instead of shaming pre-teens and teens into believing there is something wrong, we need conversation. Parents need to parent, teachers need to teach. I'm not saying we should mold our children into sexual beings but we need to help them understand their feelings and urges are OK.
The same goes for violence. You can shield your children as best you can from harmful images and suffering, but they don't live in a plastic bubble.
It's not the video game creators' fault - it's the parents who let their children spend hours filling their impressionable minds with first-person shooters and women portrayed as 36-24-36, spandex-clad sex pots or the latest Grand Theft Auto installment. These parents are also the ones who let their children watch the latest "Saw" film or booby and blood filled horror motion picture - "Mama" and "Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D." What do you expect? Stop using the television and computer as your nanny so you can pretend you're childless for a few hours at a time. Obviously my husband isn't a pre-teen/teen (or I'd be writing this post from Cell Block D). He is a well-adjusted contributor to society who deserves to enjoy violent video games in the comfort of his living room.
Violence - what was risque 10 years ago? Twenty? Thirty? Fifty? One hundred? There was a time, not too long ago, where it was risque for a couple living together out of wedlock to be featured on a television show or for a woman to be employed as anything other than a nurse or teacher. Risque was Jim Morrison singing "Girl we couldn't get much higher" on live television or Elvis' gyrating hips or an interracial couple. Think about what's allowed on TV and in movies today and what's considered extreme in society. At what point have we gone too far? We can't turn back time but we can try to do the best with what we have.
You want to regulate video games? Go ahead. Regulate them like you should weapons, regulate them like you have alcohol and cigarettes. Make it difficult for the underage to purchase violent media.
If the goal of society is to protect children from things that are bad for them - what other purpose is there? - make it difficult. You could say, it's different from alcohol and cigarettes because they can get violent media on the Internet. Make it so they need to show an ID to buy a game, same thing at the movies (don't let parents allow their children into R rated films), same thing on the Internet - parents need to block inappropriate Internet sites and television networks. Exercise responsibility, it shouldn't be a big debate. It's simple. No, it's not perfect but nothing is perfect. It's the best answer to this problem - regulation. Yeah, underage kids can still buy alcohol and cigarettes but not as many if no one checked IDs. Yeah, you can buy a gun but it may take a while.
Movie theaters and establishments selling entertainment need policies and procedures in place that are enforced and subject to penalties and fines. If a liquor store doesn't card, they can get fined and/or lose their license. Why isn't this applied to places of business selling violent media?
The government is looking for quick answers so society feels safer in elementary and high schools, movie theaters and public places across the country (also some politicians are looking to make you temporarily forget about the gun debate by introducing the violent video game debate). We need another war like the failed war on drugs. It's video games, it's lax gun laws, it's the mental health stigma and lack of affordable care, it's heavy metal music, it's our Godless society, it's drugs, it's homosexuals, it's illegal immigrants, it's this, it's that - you're never going to rid the United States of guns, violent media or mentally sick individuals. You need to do the best with what you're given. Although, I don't trust Congress to make intelligent choices since they got a pay raise and I got a tax increase.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Steubenville, Ohio: Rape, Facebook, twitter, camera phones, Anonymous - living recklessly in the Technology Age

Two former high school football players from Steubenville, Ohio are accused of sexually assaulting a teenage girl at a series of end-of-summer parties (August 11, 2012). Both are charged with rape; one is charged with "illegal use of a minor in nudity-oriented material."
As the story goes, a young girl traveled out-of-town to attend these parties and drank so much she blacked out -- mumbled speech, vomiting, unconsciousness. Allegedly, the two young men violated her sexually while dragging/carrying her to various parties - it was suggested on social networking sites she was urinated on by a person/people. Onlookers Tweeted and Facebooked about the girl, took videos and snapped photos (11 cell phones and a couple iPads were seized in the investigation) - including the now infamous photograph of two young men holding up the girl's limp body by her limbs like a dead deer. There may even be a video of the alleged sexual attack.
According to reports, the victim learned about the evening through social media - Twitter and Facebook - the next morning.
It's the age old Bystander effect - many people present with no one coming to the rescue. Blame it on the alcohol, blame it on being young and naive, blame it on whatever you want - no one helped this young girl.
Why am I just blogging about this now? I didn't know about the case until Anonymous, the activist hacker group, released information, including a 12-minute video of a young man, who has not been charged, joking about the incident to the amusement of several teenage boys. He was questioned by police - his excuse: he was drunk.
Is it really rape because you don't know if she wanted to or not. She might have wanted to. That might have been her final wish.
Anonymous is upset no one is coming forward with information about the evening in question and also because Steubenville has, as they described, an all-star football team consisting of demi-gods to the small, high school football obsessed, down-on-its-luck town. They plan to release more information unless people come forward with information.
To further complicate matters, another victim came forward with allegations she was raped in April -- possibly by the same group of football all-stars.
I could rant about the small town condoning these actions because the boys in question are demi-gods or about local kids and familial/friend connections. However, I'm more interested in the role of social media.
Have we come to the point where people are so stupid they confess on Twitter and Facebook about such horrifying scenarios as rape? (I.e. Jacob Cox-Brown of Oregon who Facebooked: "Drivin drunk ... classsic ;) but to whoever's vehicle i hit i am sorry. :P" - He was arrested). I don't care how drunk you are, that's illegal, that's criminal, that's immoral. At what point does rape or drunk driving seem funny or cool? Stupid is not the word. Help me understand the mentality - the boy who murdered children and adults in Newtown, Mass. is being described as mentally sick, perhaps a product of his end-of-the-world obsessed mother. What about these boys, who would do such a thing? What about these boys, who laugh about rape? What about the girls and boys who watched as a girl was sexually violated and humiliated and did nothing yet found the time to sarcastically Tweet, text and Facebook about it with a detached, sick mentality? Are we that far removed from reality where rape is funny?
What is it about teenagers/young adults and an obsession with blacking out, being wasted - this has been the status quo for decades. It's like a medal of honor. I'm not a nun, I've partied. However, I've never laughed about a young, unconscious girl being raped or joked about driving drunk. Do people not realize Facebook isn't anonymous or are they too obsessed with everyone knowing everything about them every second of every day?

Thursday, January 3, 2013

New year, new you: Diets, exercise, change, new beginnings, no excuses

It's 2013. Weird, right? We aren't traveling in flying cars on elevated highways but we also didn't fly off the fiscal cliff. We aren't colonizing Mars or vacationing on the moon but we also didn't die in the Mayan Doomsday Apocalypse and John Cusack didn't have to save us from global warming with a battered RV. Save me John Cusack, save me with your snark. Instead of the final frontier, we have Facebook, genetic testing, GPS, Blueray, Smartphones, Twitter, Google, laparoscopic surgery, CGI, mini iPads, Wal-Mart, iPods, 3D, planes, trains and automobiles. Beam me up Scotty, there's no sign of intelligent life here.
We're here, we're queer, get used to it.
Life rages on and we're expected to create resolutions: make lists, take notes, make plans. This is the year! The time is now! A lot can happen in a year! Motivate yourself to change your life! Go to Bed, Bath & Beyond and get yourself a Gandhi poster: Be the change you want to see in the world! Frame it and put it in your living room next to your Live, laugh, love poster. You're surrounded by motivation! Turn on the boob tube so advertisers can tell you what to think. You're fat, so get skinny - we'll show you how! Your marriage sucks - get divorced! Your job sucks - get a new one! The calendar changed so act accordingly.
The cynic in me wants to rant about the stupidity behind resolutions considering most are too ambitious and abandoned within three weeks. Also, can a human truly change? This skeptical force figures the Kardashian-Kayne spawn will be the anti-Christ and cause the end of days ... so what's a few extra pounds and a dead-end job matter?
Satan is his father, not Guy (aka Kayne). He came up from hell and begat a son of mortal woman. Satan is his father and his name is Adrian. He shall overthrow the mighty and lay waste their temples. He shall redeem the despised and wreak vengeance in the name of the burned and the tortured. Hail, Adrian! Hail, Satan! Hail, Satan! (Sidenote: the theme song to "Rosemary's Baby" is beyond creepy ... la la la). Hail Kayne!
As I read the other day, scientists predict the baby of Kardashian-Kayne (Kimye?) will have an ego so dense it collapses on itself creating a blackhole. So, there's that.
The other side of me, the I-want-to-trick-everyone-into-believing-I'm-a-nice-person-in-2013-side (which is related to the eating-healthy-and-working-out-makes-me-feel-better knowledge I trapped inside an empty box of Nilla Wafers), sees the positive in resolutions and the new year. A time to reflect on the past 365 days, consider your successes and failures, and move on to a cleanish slate (like taking a shower when you're hungover). It's a built-in timeline for life similar to age - I'm 40, what have I done with my life or it's 2013, what did I accomplish in 2012?
That's so 2012 - the Diamond Jubilee of the Queen Mum (snoozefest), Curiosity landed on Mars, "The Innocence of Muslims" caused terrorist attacks and outrage, Felix Baumgartner broke the sound barrier, Hurricane Sandy wrecked havoc on the east coast, President Barack Obama was reelected in a close race, mass shootings caused public outrage on gun control laws ...
There's always the coveted death reel of the ones we lost (loved ones as well as those we knew but didn't know - celebrities): Mike Wallace, Davy Jones, Dick Clark, Vidal Sassoon, Donna Summer, Ray Bradbury, Rodney King, Andy Griffith, Sally Ride, Maeve Binchy, Neil Armstrong, Michael Clarke Duncan ... those sweet, innocent children in Newtown.
Reflection is positive - as my seventh grade social studies teacher told us everyday: those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it. In case you need a visual, she looked like Sam the Eagle from the Muppets with a righteous bowl cut and drove a white 1985ish Mustang.
There's more to life than current events and dead celebrities. We should reflect on our past year. What happened. Did you lose a loved one? Start a new job? Have a baby? Get married? Get divorced? Gain a shit ton of weight? Form new friendships or rid your life of toxic frenemies? Maybe you got a dog or bought a car or got a raise or chased a dream ... whatever it was, these events formed your 2012.
Do you know what time it is? No, not time for a Kool Moe Dee song about girlies. It's time to devise a flight plan for 2013 since we're going this non-cynical route.
What do we want? I don't know! When do we want it? Now!
Dear Diary, day three of the new year. So far, I'm back to eating healthy and exercising regularly, more to do with the poundage I acquired during the holidays than some lofty, life changing goal. Biggest Loser this is not. I cleaned up my Facebook friends list today, so there's something. Goals: declutter, defriend, less frivolous spending more saving, more books less social networking, more outside less TV ... less cynical? Perhaps it's better to keep my goals attainable because any day of the year can be your "new year."