Ever notice reluctance time travels? Reluctance: you're not filled to the brim with dread over something or someone but you, as children often whine, don't wanna! You huff and you puff, hem and haw, do a Napoleon Dynamite-worthy sigh, create semi-valid but wimpy excuses and rain checks in your mind ... it's borderline agony. Then you decide to throw your b.s. out the window and, as Larry the Cable Guy (Daniel Lawrence Whitney ... such a high brow name) loves to say, get 'er done. Oh, sorry. Larry spells it git-r-done - also the title of his book ... yes, he's written a book. He's so successful at getting it done he wrote a book about getting it done so we can all get it done like he does. What exactly is he getting done? Buying another camouflage hat or flannel button-down to de-sleeve? Perfecting his fake hillbilly accent? Creating a sequel to "Delta Farce?" Bankrolling the dumbing of America and Budweiser?
Anyway, before you know what's what, the source of your reluctance (exercise, making healthy choices, laundry, dishes, homework, spending time with someone who sucks) is in the past and you think ... what was the big deal? As Cousin Eddie's wife said in "Vacation" - "Oh, it's not so bad. Eddie says after the baby comes, I can quit one of my night jobs."
The worst part is agonizing over your reluctance.
I have a love, hate relationship with exercise, as do most people. I love it because it helps me to feel mentally and physically well - fitter, healthier and more productive. Endorphins, baby, shot straight through my heart like Bon Jovi's screams. En route to the gym, and throughout my workday, I craft excuses: I'll go tomorrow and even, gasp, on the weekend. I worked hard today makin dat dollar so deserve a night off. I'm an adult and it's OK to skip one night. I'm tired and I'm pretty sure I read a study exercising when tired is a big no-no - it was published last month in Dream On Lardass Magazine. Last, but certainly not least, I don't wanna - wah, sad face emoticon.
Who will win the battle of reluctance? One mind, two thoughts. I'm not picturing an angel and devil specifically but the two beings taking up residence in my dome are opposites who, unlike the saying, don't attract.
There's productive, healthy, intelligent, motivated me who is filled with life, love and vigor like a Hallmark card or a 365 inspirational quotes calendar - like looking at that shit once a day is going to make me less bitter. This persona believes the Almighty Glass is half full and cheats on their diet with one naughty meal a week and, sadly, its measurement on the Naughty Scale is lame-o. They workout often, don't make excuses, and fill the world with smiles, politeness and a good work ethic. They contribute to society and are grateful for the gift of life, family and friends.
Then there's the other me: still intelligent but unmotivated. They crave procrastination, alcohol and trans fat. This persona believes the glass is, and always will be, half empty and is known to make excuses. They fill the world with road rage, guilt and a PMS-attitude, and contemplate taking up smoking again as a weight loss supplement. They contribute to society but with the least amount of effort needed because, obviously, the world owes them a favor. Life's a bitch and then you die.
Sometimes my excuses trick me because I can almost craft them into being logical, like Spock worthy logic. I find it better not to go down Excuse Road because no good will come. It's like when you are in bed and can't fall asleep. You start doing the math: if I go to bed right now I can still get six hours, that's not bad. Did I lock the door - you go and check and find yourself checking every window and door in your home (I did this last night but only because I watched that new Kevin Bacon show "The Following" - creepy). This is when your inner philosopher is unleashed and your thoughts cover every aspect of life in full-on panic mode. Don't go down this road because it's filled with potholes, trolls asking for toll money, and creepy things that go bump in the night like excuses.
There's also the problem of: am I making an excuse or is my gut telling me something? Trust your gut ... how do I know when I'm trusting my gut or when I'm being a reluctant jerk or when I have heartburn from eating a burrito, taco, chips and salsa, and a 48 oz. margarita?
I read trash rags. I never claimed to be a literary mind. Anyway, I always chuckle at, among other things, comments made by celebrities. They act so high and mighty, like they aren't getting paid way too much money to recite lines and pretend for a few hours.
"I like to live life to the fullest and take chances."
Yeah, if Daniel Day Lewis said this, I would listen because he's amazing. If Megan Fox says this ... well, she's not a good actress but she's hot. Pretty easy to take a chance when you're famous and have lots of zeros looking back at you when checking your account balance. I wouldn't be reluctant to workout out either if I knew a fat paycheck relied on my body. So, what about the Common Man who finds themselves reluctant to skip a day of work for a trip or skip a night at the gym or quit their job or write-off a family member? Should we trust our gut?
No comments:
Post a Comment