Rush Limbaugh's latest b.s. gimmicky remarks overshadowed another conservative caught hating on others ... straight hating all over their asses ... Kirk Cameron. Who ever thought Mike Seaver would grow up to be so ridiculous?
So, what did the Kirkster say that got people so mad? Homosexuality is "unnatural."
"I think that it's detrimental, and
ultimately destructive to so many of the foundations of civilization."
"Marriage was defined by God a long time ago. Marriage is
almost as old as dirt, and it was defined in the garden between Adam and
Eve -- one man, one woman for life till death do you part. So I would
never attempt to try to redefine marriage."
So, civilization will be destroyed if we let gay people marry because Mike Seaver is a messenger from God who can decipher and understand The Bible. Wow, look at the big brains on Kirk! I may not be the most pious person but I studied The Bible as part of my minor in college ... and you know what? It ain't black and white and anyone who thinks they can decipher it is a big, fat, liar. As far as religion goes, I know that I don't know because mere humans don't have the ability to know.
Anywho ... surprise, surprise ... people were upset, which, in turn, made Kirk sad because he wants to shower the world with love (wish he'd shower us with a heaping helping of shut-the-f-up). So, taking a cue from Rush Limbaugh, he clarified his remarks in a press release because he doesn't have a popular radio show to share his wisdom on -- thank goodness ...
"I spoke as honestly as I could, but some people believe my responses were not loving toward those in the gay community. That is not true. I can assuredly say that it’s my life’s mission to love all people.
I should be able to express moral views on social issues especially those that have been the underpinning of Western civilization for 2,000 years — without being slandered, accused of hate speech, and told from those who preach ‘tolerance’ that I need to either bend my beliefs to their moral standards or be silent when I’m in the public square."
He also commented he loves gay people and some of his best friends are gay ... yeah right ... oh I can say the N- word because my best friend is black! Duh!
You know what you could do Kirk? Shut your face because telling someone their lifestyle is unnatural and going to end civilization ... well that's the opposite of nice and since you're all religious and shit, aren't you supposed to be super nice? Anyway ... I'm not a gay person trying to get hitched so maybe a quote from a GLAAD spokesman is more appropriate.
Herndon Graddick: "Obviously, Cameron has the right to recite his anti-gay talking
points. Just like
fair-minded Americans have the right to tell him that his views are
harmful and have no place in modern America."
Once an atheist, the Kirkster became a born-again Christian at age 17. After his conversion, he insisted episodes of "Growing Pains" were free from anything he considered racy or too adult. So, he began pushing his views on others at a young age. How thoughtful.
Anyway ... I'm bored with all this talk of Mike Seaver, homosexuality and the end of civilization because there will never be agreement, so let's do something fun.
I read a "Huffington Post" article recently about other things the Bible forbids -- outside of obsessed-over homosexuality -- and want to play a game. This is a game for all anti-gay, pro-life folks (like Kirk Cameron) to take before they open their big, fat mouths.
13 Steps To Hell: How Far Away From Going to Hell Are You?
#1: Tattoos -- Leviticus 19:28 : Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD. All you people with tatts of Jesus and crosses on your body, you must feel pretty stupid right about now. Yikes, I have two tatts so does that mean I'm going to another, more shitty level of Hell? Maybe where it's hotter or the labor is worse? Maybe I can smell coffee brewing in another level 24-7 but never get a taste ... I might cry ... lemme get a taste!
#2: Rounded haircuts -- Leviticus 19:27 states:
Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard. Well, as a chick I'm beard free and I haven't had a bowl cut since second grade so I guess I'm golden. But I wonder ... what if a man doesn't have a rounded haircut or beard but has a rounded pubic area ... ?
#3:
Men With Injured Or Cut Off Private Parts Entering Houses Of God -- Deuteronomy 23:1 states:
He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD. This may sound Beavis and Butthead-esque but "stones" made me giggle. What if there was some freak accident or it was done for medical reasons?
#4: Consulting Psychics -- Leviticus 19:31 reads:
Regard not them that have familiar spirits, neither seek after wizards, to be defiled by them: I am the LORD your God. I am reminded of the fortune-telling machine -- Zoltar Speaks -- in the movie "Big." Does this mean I can't read my horoscope? What about fortune cookies? I like the back of the fortune that spells out a word in Chinese.
#5: Gossiping -- Leviticus 19:16 states:
Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy
people: neither shalt thou stand against the blood of thy neighbour; I
am the LORD. Shit. Considering I recently wrote a post about Snooki's pregnancy and my entire blog is one big pile of b.s. gossip ... dammit.
#6: Wives Helping Out Their Husbands in a Fight -- Deuteronomy 25:11-12 states:
When men strive together one with another, and the wife
of the one draweth near for to deliver her husband out of the hand of
him that smiteth him, and putteth forth her hand, and taketh him by the
secrets; Then thou shalt cut off her hand, thine eye shall not pity her. I was gonna be all stand-by-your-man but cut off my hand? This ain't no joke! Luckily I'm married to the Incredible Hulk so ...
#7: Eating a Ham Sandwich -- Leviticus 11:7-8 reads:
And the swine, though he divide the hoof, and be clovenfooted, yet he cheweth not the cud; he is unclean to you.
Of their flesh shall ye not eat, and their carcase shall ye not touch; they are unclean to you. Here piggy piggy piggy, here piggy piggy piggy. This makes me sad, like when those dogs ate the turkey in "A Christmas Story" sad ... no pulled pork sandwiches, no spiral cut ham, no bacon, no sausage ...
#8: Children Cursing Their Parents -- Exodus 21:17 states: And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death. Wow, usually my parents would tell me to go to my room but put to death? I would love for any anti-gay person to tell me they've never cursed their parents, especially in the ugly, angst filled teen years.
#9: Getting Divorced -- Mark 10:11-12 states:
Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another,
committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from
her husband committeth adultery. Well well well ... how many pro-life, anti-gay politicians can you think of who have been divorced ... possibly traded wifey numero uno in for a younger, tighter model?
#10: Working on Sunday -- Exodus 31:14-15 states: Ye shall keep the sabbath therefore; for it is holy
unto you: every one that defileth it shall surely be put to death: for
whosoever doeth any work therein, that soul shall be cut off from among
his people.
Six days may work be done; but in the seventh is the sabbath of
rest, holy to the LORD: whosoever doeth any work in the sabbath day, he
shall surely be put to death. Ha! How many people can say they have never, ever worked on a Sunday, even for a few minutes? Sunday Funday fools!
#11: Women Speaking in Houses of God -- 1 Corinthians 14:34-35 states: Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is
not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under
obedience, as also saith the law.
And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church. Oh snap, I feel like waving my finger in the face of the Lord and saying, no you didn't! Although, I'd love to go to church with Sarah Palin or Michele Bachmann and shush them if they talk. Classic.
#12: Eating Shrimp, Lobster and Other Assorted Seafood -- Leviticus 10-11 states:
And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and
in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing
which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you:
They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination. Under the sea! Under the sea! I never thought I'd been eating abominations all these years. Raw abominations, fried abominations, broiled abominations ... try telling your kid Sebastian from "The Little Mermaid" is an abomination!
#13: Losing Your Virginity Before You Get Married -- Deuteronomy 22:20-21 states:
But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel:
Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's
house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die:
because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her
father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you. Yikes! I am the whore in my father's house and am evil but guess what? So are a majority of politicians and religious born-again folk! You can be born again but God doesn't forget, he's like an elephant that way.
In conclusion, we're all going to Hell. Good night ladies and gentleman!
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