James Holmes, 24, is a household name after going on a shooting rampage at a suburban movie theater in Aurora, Colo., killing 12 people and injuring dozens. It's a tragedy shocking America to its core.
While it's natural to feel sympathy for the families and people affected by this unholy mess and at least a bit of hatred for Holmes, here I sit with mixed feelings. Yes, it's terrible and as an American it's upsetting to have a homegrown terrorist of sorts while the country continues to work towards stopping terrorism from outside forces. Loss of innocent life is always horrific, especially in a place as American as apple pie -- the movies.
Frankly, I'm tired.
As an American, I am tired of this happening, tried of worrying about shooting rampages. I worry terrorists abroad, who hate us to an almost unbelievable degree, will blow up my plane or major cities where family or friends, or myself, are visiting/living. I worry about sending my children to school and wondering if they're going to be snatched by some wolf in sheep's clothing (Jerry Sandusky) or shot by some bullied child teachers and administration ignored. Now I have to worry about some guy busting into a movie theater to shoot up the joint and getting on an airplane and biting into a needle-laced sandwich.
I'm tired of the media and people across the country focusing to ad nauseum on what happened, turning Holmes into a celebrity and making this a circus. They focus on who James Holmes is, what drove him to commit such a horrific crime. People in power across the country are commenting on how sorry they are, how it's a shame. BLAH BLAH BLAH. Stop the b.s.! You are commenting because you have to so your stupid constituents don't think you are apathetic. I am sick and tired of talk especially when the American public will forget about this tragedy in a week, maybe two, and move on to something else the media shoves down their throat.
Mitt Romney saying this. Barack Obama saying that. Half of Congress making progress and the other half getting up on their soap box to bitch and moan -- Republicans vs. Democrats vs. Independents vs. Tea Party. No compromise. Stop talking and start doing. Let's make sure this doesn't happen again. I'm a college grad with a degree in humanities and I know, from this tragedy, the U.S. should look into putting money into mental health care -- according to a 2009 USA Today article, the number of Americans using antidepressants doubled in a decade, while the number seeing psychiatrists continued to fall. Hello, anybody home? Let's work on the stigma associated with mental illness.
How about gun control in terms of this motto: Yeah, you can have a gun to hunt or protect your home but there is no need for assault rifles or b.s. like that because you don't need one.
I want to see some responsibility, some action, some problem solving. Aren't we Americans? Aren't we supposed to be doers?
So, there's an obvious lack of gun control -- screw all the second amendment nuts. There's no reason Holmes should have access to these weapons -- AR-15 assault rifles? Really? Body armor? Ordering 6,000 rounds of ammo online? He's ordering ammo online and I'm ordering K-Cups for my Keurig. Wow. Nobody in this country needs or should own an assault rifle.
You're a gun enthusiast? Go to a museum. I like dinosaurs but don't have a T-Rex skeleton in my house, moron. You want a gun to protect your home, go hunting perhaps? That's fine. Outlawing guns isn't the answer because people will find a way to get their hands on them. We need stricter laws for items like AR-15 assault rifles. According to Huffington Post, "Some versions of the AR-15 assault rifle that police said was one of three guns James Holmes carried into the movie theater massacre were outlawed for civilian sale under the federal assault weapons ban that expired in 2004. Since then, all versions have been legal for sale and possession in the U.S." Duh. Yeah, maybe a would-be shooter would just buy a bunch of smaller, legal guns to use instead but you gotta do something! Action! If you make it harder for someone to purchase said guns, perhaps this will give them a chance to second-guess their need for killing people, give them a chance to chicken out or have a change of heart.
News outlets are busy shitting out everything they can to keep you watching their channel or reading their articles because it's all about ratings and sad-faced reporters. So, they're digging into every possible angle of this crisis instead of focusing on making sure this doesn't happen again. For the folks obsessed with why James Holmes did this -- it's a complete failure of his individual society: bad parenting (didn't care or didn't acknowledge the warning signs -- same goes for family and friends), educators who took no responsibility to keep him from being bullied if that was the case, and/or mental health being stigmatized and unavailable. Same old song and dance. Enough talk, let's work on change!
There were warning signs. There always are. Cue people who knew him discussing how they knew he was crazy. Day late, dollar short like Jerry Sandusky and Joe Pa. Were they afraid they were going to get sued if they did something? Why is it so hard? Are we all afraid of getting sued so we don't do anything? I ignore it, it'll go away, right? We won't take the initiative but we'll follow the initiative. Teachers, administrators, friends, family -- be proactive!
Let's focus on fixing the issues behind the incident. Media: Stop focusing on the b.s., the candlelight vigils, the tweets and Facebook posts, the why. People! Stand up and show outrage! Write your congressman or governor and press them for change, for progress! Take a stand! Stop being a bystander.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Friday, July 20, 2012
Being Alone vs. Being Lonely: What's Wrong With Enjoying Solitude?
With a handful of errands to run before a doctors appointment, I attempted the familiar task of factoring enough time to avoid tardiness. Luckily, it worked and I wasn't late. However, I over-factored and ended up with 45 minutes to kill -- ain't that a bitch.
So what to do? Decisions, decisions. On the one hand, it's the dead of summer where I live and 100 humid-packed degrees (literally), so AC is where it's at! On the other hand, I fancied a locale free from people and was too far away to venture home. So, I maneuvered my vehicle under a shady tree at my local park to eat my lunch and relax -- alone.
This got me thinking ... what is the obsession with people making friends? As a woman, I am supposed to -- if I follow suggestions from magazines and the general public -- have girlfriends I chat with constantly and venture out with on girls nights where we bitch and moan about our significant others, gossip about frienimes and drink cosmos like Carrie F-ing Bradshaw. What if I don't want that?
Why is wanting to spend time alone generally frowned upon? Why don't people understand there is a difference between being lonely and being alone? I understand the fear from the warning sign mentality -- you know, distancing yourself from others and becoming some anti-social hermit with tinfoil on your head (E.T. Phone Home) -- but what if you don't feel like dealing with other peoples shit? Overall, people are draining. After spending time with most people I am exhausted from their neuroses, from their drama. Maybe I haven't found the right girl(s) yet -- finding friends these days is like dating.
Contrary to popular culture -- especially movies and literature -- nothing is absolute. So, I don't want to be alone 100% of the time. From time to time I get an inkling for some people-featured adventure. Maybe a crowded bar with friends, a night out on the town, some good ole conversation with an old pal. However, this is few and far between in comparison to the norm society dumps on us like rain from the heavens.
Maybe it has something to do with the be-all-end-all obsession with dying alone. We start getting frisky when we hit puberty and shoot off like rocket ships towards the land of getting up close and personal with whomever. Mostly, it's about finding love and coupling, whether or not that means marriage, kids, picket fence, whatever. The media teaches us from a young age to find our prince or princess, the person of our dreams, and live happily ever after on a f-ing cloud. No one teaches us relationships are difficult at times but, overall, should be fulfilling.
Maybe it has something to do with this Facebook/Twitter culture we are in where we need constant feedback 24/7. Are you really living if no one knows? Do events in your life have less meaning if you don't, within 5 minutes, post an update so your "friends" can know and give you b.s. responses -- i.e. if it's a downer post then "I'm thinking about you. Keep your head up! xoxo" or if it's an upbeat post then perhaps "Way to go! I always told you you're awesome! lol" Have we become so connected we can't stand to be five minutes alone with ourselves? Alone = no Internet, phone, people, TV, music, nada, zilch, nothing. Do you even know who you are? Could you eat a meal alone in a restaurant?
Then, there are the George Clooney's of the world who trade up about every five years or so with no discernible want for children and marriage. This isn't the norm and for the men who envy ole Georgie -- too bad, so sad because you're not rich, famous and gorgeous so good luck with finding the babes to put up with your broke, busted ass.
All in all, I understand people are different. Introverts, extroverts, tomat-o, tomat-a. Let's all be friends, right? However, I think society gives us loners a bad wrap. As Oscar Wilde put it, "To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance." I should end my post right here, shouldn't I? Well I'm not.
In the words of Pee-Wee Herman, "I'm a loner Dottie, a rebel."
So what to do? Decisions, decisions. On the one hand, it's the dead of summer where I live and 100 humid-packed degrees (literally), so AC is where it's at! On the other hand, I fancied a locale free from people and was too far away to venture home. So, I maneuvered my vehicle under a shady tree at my local park to eat my lunch and relax -- alone.
This got me thinking ... what is the obsession with people making friends? As a woman, I am supposed to -- if I follow suggestions from magazines and the general public -- have girlfriends I chat with constantly and venture out with on girls nights where we bitch and moan about our significant others, gossip about frienimes and drink cosmos like Carrie F-ing Bradshaw. What if I don't want that?
Why is wanting to spend time alone generally frowned upon? Why don't people understand there is a difference between being lonely and being alone? I understand the fear from the warning sign mentality -- you know, distancing yourself from others and becoming some anti-social hermit with tinfoil on your head (E.T. Phone Home) -- but what if you don't feel like dealing with other peoples shit? Overall, people are draining. After spending time with most people I am exhausted from their neuroses, from their drama. Maybe I haven't found the right girl(s) yet -- finding friends these days is like dating.
Contrary to popular culture -- especially movies and literature -- nothing is absolute. So, I don't want to be alone 100% of the time. From time to time I get an inkling for some people-featured adventure. Maybe a crowded bar with friends, a night out on the town, some good ole conversation with an old pal. However, this is few and far between in comparison to the norm society dumps on us like rain from the heavens.
Maybe it has something to do with the be-all-end-all obsession with dying alone. We start getting frisky when we hit puberty and shoot off like rocket ships towards the land of getting up close and personal with whomever. Mostly, it's about finding love and coupling, whether or not that means marriage, kids, picket fence, whatever. The media teaches us from a young age to find our prince or princess, the person of our dreams, and live happily ever after on a f-ing cloud. No one teaches us relationships are difficult at times but, overall, should be fulfilling.
Maybe it has something to do with this Facebook/Twitter culture we are in where we need constant feedback 24/7. Are you really living if no one knows? Do events in your life have less meaning if you don't, within 5 minutes, post an update so your "friends" can know and give you b.s. responses -- i.e. if it's a downer post then "I'm thinking about you. Keep your head up! xoxo" or if it's an upbeat post then perhaps "Way to go! I always told you you're awesome! lol" Have we become so connected we can't stand to be five minutes alone with ourselves? Alone = no Internet, phone, people, TV, music, nada, zilch, nothing. Do you even know who you are? Could you eat a meal alone in a restaurant?
Then, there are the George Clooney's of the world who trade up about every five years or so with no discernible want for children and marriage. This isn't the norm and for the men who envy ole Georgie -- too bad, so sad because you're not rich, famous and gorgeous so good luck with finding the babes to put up with your broke, busted ass.
All in all, I understand people are different. Introverts, extroverts, tomat-o, tomat-a. Let's all be friends, right? However, I think society gives us loners a bad wrap. As Oscar Wilde put it, "To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance." I should end my post right here, shouldn't I? Well I'm not.
In the words of Pee-Wee Herman, "I'm a loner Dottie, a rebel."
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Why You Like What You Like - The Science Behind Self-Inflicted Disappointment
You know the feeling after someone makes a comment or something happens, meaningless or shocking, and the stars suddenly align, a light bulb comes on and you think ... it all makes sense. I can see clearly now!
This happened recently. Sadly, it wasn't substantial -- i.e. the meaning of life or the secret to an boundless amount of wealth -- but it made me wonder ... think McFly, think ... is there anything, perhaps a beverage or hobby or activity, you keep consuming or taking part in only to remember, within a couple minutes or sips, you don't enjoy this certain something. That's not to say you hate it but you definitely don't enjoy it enough to keep coming back again and again with regularity.
I.e. for whatever reason, I often order a Blue Moon while out on the town. I never gave it a second thought until recently, when my better half randomly riddled me this, "Do you like Blue Moon?" For whatever reason, I considered the question in lieu of responding with a gut-reaction. I realized I don't enjoy it enough -- it's a big bucket of OK.
Just as Dion and the Belmonts did, I wonder why.
Blue moon,
You saw me standing alone,
Without a dream in my heart,
Without a love of my own.
Maybe part of me, somewhere deep down, wants to like Blue Moon. There's something idyllic about sipping Blue Moon from a wide-mouth glass with an orange slice floating on the creamy, white foam like a child letting a lazy river carry him down current on a hot summer day. The sun beats down as I sip my Blue Moon, penetrating my darkening skin while rolling waves lure me like a sirens lullaby.
I want to like Blue Moon ... doesn't this sound so nice? So, maybe it has to do with my love for summer and the familiar equation: Blue Moon + Orange Slice = Summer. However, it's not that easy. It's never that easy. It's something much bigger.
We unconsciously seek what is familiar because it brings comfort, especially with quick decisions like ordering a drink at a bar or channel surfing. Yeah, you could chat with someone about your favorite alcoholic beverage or TV show but, when it comes to you at the bar, being asked by some over-worked bartender, "What'll it be?" ... well, you pick something familiar. Quick draw! Impulse time! Brain freeze! That damn Blue Moon. You've got more important things on your mind, bigger priorities than an alcoholic beverage (which, ironically, is used to briefly forget about said priorities). Also, let's be honest, you can't remember the new beer you wanted to try or the liquor that sounded so delicious because you've got too many things on your mind day-to-day.
Blue Moon. Two words I've heard repeated in advertisements and by friends. Two words I've seen scrawled across chalk boards at trendy bars, on signs used to lure people in to the dark and cool establishments to beat the heat with booze -- a diuretic.
As Albert Einstein said, "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
I'm not one of those wackjobs who crave disappointment, so ... what's the frequency Kenneth? Obviously we the people need to patiently order what we want because we're spending our hard earned American sweaty-ass dollars!
What do I like to drink? It's as simple as that! Come to think of it, I'm a big flavored vodka and tonic fan. So take that Blue Moon! (Picture the flavored vodka bottle sitting proudly next to a devastated and embarrassed bottle of Blue Moon, packing its little Blue Moon bags with oranges and headed for the door. Off to disappoint another person, in some other town.)
However, I can't get past this idea of me ordering the same shit over and over again like an impulsive robot. Do you do the same thing, do things in your life over and over again simply for the comfort of routine? Why?
Were you the baby in your family, maybe the youngest of three or more? You're important but your odds of happiness are hampered by your percentage -- i.e. in a family of six people, I was only averaging a 16.67% of importance and that's on a GOOD day! Youngest of four kids, so that's a 25% average hampered because by the time I came around, my parents were exhausted from raising my pain-in-the-ass siblings, so ... yeah. Magic 8-ball: Don't Count On It.
So, you learn to go with the flow. I can be happy eating most things, doing most things, going most places. But am I really happy or just complacent? This, in turn, leaks into your adolescence, young adulthood, until you wake up one day as an adult and find out you don't know jack and have been ordering Blue Moon for years -- perhaps this also has to do with the fact I'd drank shitty hooch for years as an underage, co-ed booze-hound and never took the time to realize I can now buy good booze, whatever booze I want, free from the fear of fake IDs and the po-po. Say it with me now, No More Milwaukee's Best! Then again, at least I know when I buy Blue Moon the experience will be OK. What if I try something new and the booze is awful?
Anyway, with adolescents today, there are major problems with self-esteem. This ties in with our nature as human beings -- we want to be accepted, we want people to like us. There's a balance involved between wanting approval and seeking approval. Perhaps you listen to certain types of music or watch certain films you know a certain someone or group enjoy so you belong. It's good to be open to new ideas and experiences but, again, there's a balance.
Then again, we live (well at least I do) in a country of ME. Americans are bred to get what they want, when they want. So, if this is the case, perhaps people have too many choices. One company comes out with a new beverage and it becomes popular so what do the other companies do? Scurry to come out with something equally appealing or better. Jump on the craze of the week! Like the bacon craze, the barbecue craze, the gooey frappe craze, the lowest calorie beer craze, which has become the lowest calorie hard liquor craze, blah blah blah.
Although, we typically order what's familiar, what we've heard over and over again on television or seen constantly in glossy magazines ads. Perhaps we try something new when it's endorsed by a friend or celebrity. They keep whispering sweet nothings in your ear enough for you to go out and spend your money.
Whatever the case, it's all relative. Everything is connected. Bottom line, no more Blue Moon.
This happened recently. Sadly, it wasn't substantial -- i.e. the meaning of life or the secret to an boundless amount of wealth -- but it made me wonder ... think McFly, think ... is there anything, perhaps a beverage or hobby or activity, you keep consuming or taking part in only to remember, within a couple minutes or sips, you don't enjoy this certain something. That's not to say you hate it but you definitely don't enjoy it enough to keep coming back again and again with regularity.
I.e. for whatever reason, I often order a Blue Moon while out on the town. I never gave it a second thought until recently, when my better half randomly riddled me this, "Do you like Blue Moon?" For whatever reason, I considered the question in lieu of responding with a gut-reaction. I realized I don't enjoy it enough -- it's a big bucket of OK.
Just as Dion and the Belmonts did, I wonder why.
Blue moon,
You saw me standing alone,
Without a dream in my heart,
Without a love of my own.
Maybe part of me, somewhere deep down, wants to like Blue Moon. There's something idyllic about sipping Blue Moon from a wide-mouth glass with an orange slice floating on the creamy, white foam like a child letting a lazy river carry him down current on a hot summer day. The sun beats down as I sip my Blue Moon, penetrating my darkening skin while rolling waves lure me like a sirens lullaby.
I want to like Blue Moon ... doesn't this sound so nice? So, maybe it has to do with my love for summer and the familiar equation: Blue Moon + Orange Slice = Summer. However, it's not that easy. It's never that easy. It's something much bigger.
We unconsciously seek what is familiar because it brings comfort, especially with quick decisions like ordering a drink at a bar or channel surfing. Yeah, you could chat with someone about your favorite alcoholic beverage or TV show but, when it comes to you at the bar, being asked by some over-worked bartender, "What'll it be?" ... well, you pick something familiar. Quick draw! Impulse time! Brain freeze! That damn Blue Moon. You've got more important things on your mind, bigger priorities than an alcoholic beverage (which, ironically, is used to briefly forget about said priorities). Also, let's be honest, you can't remember the new beer you wanted to try or the liquor that sounded so delicious because you've got too many things on your mind day-to-day.
Blue Moon. Two words I've heard repeated in advertisements and by friends. Two words I've seen scrawled across chalk boards at trendy bars, on signs used to lure people in to the dark and cool establishments to beat the heat with booze -- a diuretic.
As Albert Einstein said, "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
I'm not one of those wackjobs who crave disappointment, so ... what's the frequency Kenneth? Obviously we the people need to patiently order what we want because we're spending our hard earned American sweaty-ass dollars!
What do I like to drink? It's as simple as that! Come to think of it, I'm a big flavored vodka and tonic fan. So take that Blue Moon! (Picture the flavored vodka bottle sitting proudly next to a devastated and embarrassed bottle of Blue Moon, packing its little Blue Moon bags with oranges and headed for the door. Off to disappoint another person, in some other town.)
However, I can't get past this idea of me ordering the same shit over and over again like an impulsive robot. Do you do the same thing, do things in your life over and over again simply for the comfort of routine? Why?
Were you the baby in your family, maybe the youngest of three or more? You're important but your odds of happiness are hampered by your percentage -- i.e. in a family of six people, I was only averaging a 16.67% of importance and that's on a GOOD day! Youngest of four kids, so that's a 25% average hampered because by the time I came around, my parents were exhausted from raising my pain-in-the-ass siblings, so ... yeah. Magic 8-ball: Don't Count On It.
So, you learn to go with the flow. I can be happy eating most things, doing most things, going most places. But am I really happy or just complacent? This, in turn, leaks into your adolescence, young adulthood, until you wake up one day as an adult and find out you don't know jack and have been ordering Blue Moon for years -- perhaps this also has to do with the fact I'd drank shitty hooch for years as an underage, co-ed booze-hound and never took the time to realize I can now buy good booze, whatever booze I want, free from the fear of fake IDs and the po-po. Say it with me now, No More Milwaukee's Best! Then again, at least I know when I buy Blue Moon the experience will be OK. What if I try something new and the booze is awful?
Anyway, with adolescents today, there are major problems with self-esteem. This ties in with our nature as human beings -- we want to be accepted, we want people to like us. There's a balance involved between wanting approval and seeking approval. Perhaps you listen to certain types of music or watch certain films you know a certain someone or group enjoy so you belong. It's good to be open to new ideas and experiences but, again, there's a balance.
Then again, we live (well at least I do) in a country of ME. Americans are bred to get what they want, when they want. So, if this is the case, perhaps people have too many choices. One company comes out with a new beverage and it becomes popular so what do the other companies do? Scurry to come out with something equally appealing or better. Jump on the craze of the week! Like the bacon craze, the barbecue craze, the gooey frappe craze, the lowest calorie beer craze, which has become the lowest calorie hard liquor craze, blah blah blah.
Although, we typically order what's familiar, what we've heard over and over again on television or seen constantly in glossy magazines ads. Perhaps we try something new when it's endorsed by a friend or celebrity. They keep whispering sweet nothings in your ear enough for you to go out and spend your money.
Whatever the case, it's all relative. Everything is connected. Bottom line, no more Blue Moon.
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