With a handful of errands to run before a doctors appointment, I attempted the familiar task of factoring enough time to avoid tardiness. Luckily, it worked and I wasn't late. However, I over-factored and ended up with 45 minutes to kill -- ain't that a bitch.
So what to do? Decisions, decisions. On the one hand, it's the dead of summer where I live and 100 humid-packed degrees (literally), so AC is where it's at! On the other hand, I fancied a locale free from people and was too far away to venture home. So, I maneuvered my vehicle under a shady tree at my local park to eat my lunch and relax -- alone.
This got me thinking ... what is the obsession with people making friends? As a woman, I am supposed to -- if I follow suggestions from magazines and the general public -- have girlfriends I chat with constantly and venture out with on girls nights where we bitch and moan about our significant others, gossip about frienimes and drink cosmos like Carrie F-ing Bradshaw. What if I don't want that?
Why is wanting to spend time alone generally frowned upon? Why don't people understand there is a difference between being lonely and being alone? I understand the fear from the warning sign mentality -- you know, distancing yourself from others and becoming some anti-social hermit with tinfoil on your head (E.T. Phone Home) -- but what if you don't feel like dealing with other peoples shit? Overall, people are draining. After spending time with most people I am exhausted from their neuroses, from their drama. Maybe I haven't found the right girl(s) yet -- finding friends these days is like dating.
Contrary to popular culture -- especially movies and literature -- nothing is absolute. So, I don't want to be alone 100% of the time. From time to time I get an inkling for some people-featured adventure. Maybe a crowded bar with friends, a night out on the town, some good ole conversation with an old pal. However, this is few and far between in comparison to the norm society dumps on us like rain from the heavens.
Maybe it has something to do with the be-all-end-all obsession with dying alone. We start getting frisky when we hit puberty and shoot off like rocket ships towards the land of getting up close and personal with whomever. Mostly, it's about finding love and coupling, whether or not that means marriage, kids, picket fence, whatever. The media teaches us from a young age to find our prince or princess, the person of our dreams, and live happily ever after on a f-ing cloud. No one teaches us relationships are difficult at times but, overall, should be fulfilling.
Maybe it has something to do with this Facebook/Twitter culture we are in where we need constant feedback 24/7. Are you really living if no one knows? Do events in your life have less meaning if you don't, within 5 minutes, post an update so your "friends" can know and give you b.s. responses -- i.e. if it's a downer post then "I'm thinking about you. Keep your head up! xoxo" or if it's an upbeat post then perhaps "Way to go! I always told you you're awesome! lol" Have we become so connected we can't stand to be five minutes alone with ourselves? Alone = no Internet, phone, people, TV, music, nada, zilch, nothing. Do you even know who you are? Could you eat a meal alone in a restaurant?
Then, there are the George Clooney's of the world who trade up about every five years or so with no discernible want for children and marriage. This isn't the norm and for the men who envy ole Georgie -- too bad, so sad because you're not rich, famous and gorgeous so good luck with finding the babes to put up with your broke, busted ass.
All in all, I understand people are different. Introverts, extroverts, tomat-o, tomat-a. Let's all be friends, right? However, I think society gives us loners a bad wrap. As Oscar Wilde put it, "To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance." I should end my post right here, shouldn't I? Well I'm not.
In the words of Pee-Wee Herman, "I'm a loner Dottie, a rebel."
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