The current book I'm reading (I always have a book going) features a recently deceased ghost who is belittled by fellow haunts for staying connected with "things of this world" and not letting go of friends, family and, especially, her boyfriend. The ghosts want her to ascend beyond this world and join their world -- a place only accessed by clearing the mind and letting go of everything, also known as "achieving clarity."
Although the novel also features vampires and other supernatural goodness, what struck me most was "things of this world." Some ghosts are not given access to the quasi-limbo world, which leads to Heaven, because they can not let go of human emotions and the people and places associated with them. Instead, they continue to obsess on these emotions and connections and, in time, delve deeper and deeper into madness.
Part of me laughs at this notion, that is, the scared part of me. The part of me that does not want to think about ideas bigger than me and everything. These ideas don't provide answers, they fuel more questions. This part of me thinks of the movie "Ghostbusters" and the famous line, "I ain't afraid of no ghost!"
The other part of me wonders about material possessions. Do material possessions include people or only physical items -- cars, houses, clothing, shoes, jewelry, electronics? Why do you buy a new pair of shoes or the latest smartphone or a new car? The positive feelings gained from buying a new outfit are similar to the feelings gained from popularity or approval from friends and family. It feels good but does nothing to build true self-worth.
As Oscar Wilde put it, "To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance."
Think about your life. What/who is important to you? Most important are probably the people in your life: spouse, children, family and friends. Then comes your current job/career, the place you call home, your hobbies ...
Life is like a video game, you advance and it becomes harder but you are more prepared -- you learn from mistakes and grow or, in a game, you earn bigger and better weapons. You reach different levels: from taking your first steps and saying your first words to graduating from high school to getting married to buying a house to having kids. For video games, you defeat a nefarious turtle monster to advance to Level 8. You are always learning, always changing, always growing to get to the next level. Your sights are always set on something, whether it's a promotion or engagement, that will make your life better. Saving money for a vacation or new car or new house or putting in extra hours at work for a promotion.
However, of all you learned and physically acquired over the years, what do you need when you die -- the ultimate final level? I could get all hallelujah religious and quote the Gospel of St. John: "Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world," but, religious or not, what happens after you die? Maybe there's no Heaven or Hell, maybe we become ghosts and haunt the mortal plane or maybe we go somewhere else, a different dimension or planet. Whatever happens, it's likely, unless you believe in reincarnation, you won't be on Earth, living a life as you did before. It's likely you will be somewhere else. A new adventure.
So, with this is mind, why do people get so caught up with material possessions? What do these items do for you? How can you gain insight spiritually or become a richer person inwardly when you worry about how others are treating you or about buying that silk dress to further compile your fabulous wardrobe?
I understand living your life to the fullest because you aren't sure what comes after death but shouldn't you focus on spiritual and emotional development over hoarding items? Isn't taking a vacation with your spouse and being there, really being there to talk and laugh and live, isn't that better than buying a $300 pair of shoes? I don't want to be on my deathbed left with a closet full of clothes and shoes and no memories of ever living. I don't want to be dying and worry about my regrets and the things I should have said to my loved ones or be filled with anguish over not spending more time with this person or that person. When people are dying, what are their main regrets? Not spending quality time with loved ones or treating their loved ones poorly. They think about what they should have done now they won't have the chance, now their days in this world are over: telling a certain someone how much they love them and how they feel, deep down, the things they were too afraid to say or the things they didn't say because they were busy working or doing this or that, too busy with "things of this world." Why is it so hard for us to acknowledge this and act now while we have the chance? Why do we instead focus on material possessions and follow the same consumer driven path?
People worry about being liked and accepted, buying clothes and items to fill their homes, offices, cars and world because it's easier than thinking about death. Death is the ultimate elephant in the room everyone chooses to ignore. The clothes and the people are here, right now, in your face -- a distraction. So, are you more focused on "things of this world"? Would you be able to let everything go when you die and advance to the next level?
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Rush Limbaugh, Michelle Obama and ribs
I love watching a TV show after dinner when, during commercials, my local late-night news anchor gives me an annoying preview of what will be covered later, teasing me with something shocking and "how dare they!" and then saying, "more at 11" before giving me the stink-eye. Usually I ignore the unusually perky newsperson and attempt for ratings but last night I was intrigued ... Rush Limbaugh attacks Michelle Obama for her dietary choices?
Food fight!
First thought -- what is Rush tipping the scales at these days? 300? 350? Guess those fad diets didn't work.
Second thought -- didn't Michelle Obama plant an organic garden at the White House and install bee hives for official dinners, etc.? She started the Let's Move! movement to help fight childhood obesity -- get those husky kids out and about, eating healthier and exercising more!
So what's the beef Rush? Apparently, Michelle is a hypocrite. On a recent vacation in Vail, Colo. with her daughters, Michelle "feasted on ribs," as Rush put it, when she should be feasting on "roots, berries and tree bark."
Rush said, "She is a hypocrite. Leaders are supposed to lead. If we are supposed to go out and eat nothing, if we are supposed to eat roots, berries and tree bark, show us how."
Food fight!
First thought -- what is Rush tipping the scales at these days? 300? 350? Guess those fad diets didn't work.
Second thought -- didn't Michelle Obama plant an organic garden at the White House and install bee hives for official dinners, etc.? She started the Let's Move! movement to help fight childhood obesity -- get those husky kids out and about, eating healthier and exercising more!
So what's the beef Rush? Apparently, Michelle is a hypocrite. On a recent vacation in Vail, Colo. with her daughters, Michelle "feasted on ribs," as Rush put it, when she should be feasting on "roots, berries and tree bark."
Rush said, "She is a hypocrite. Leaders are supposed to lead. If we are supposed to go out and eat nothing, if we are supposed to eat roots, berries and tree bark, show us how."
No wonder your diets failed Rush! I tried a lot of diets over the years -- SouthBeach, Atkins, SlimFast, starvation -- and learned the best way, with the highest likelihood of success in the long term, is to eat in moderation. Michelle Obama never told families to eat strict diets, she told them to incorporate healthier foods into their diet and exercise more. Everything in moderation! No wonder women have poor body image -- you must eat roots, berries and tree bark FOREVER!
Well, since Rush isn't too good with the whole diet thing, obviously from his trip to the hospital after a dangerously unhealthy fad diet, let me explain it in terms of a drug addict -- instead of quitting cold turkey and not taking any painkillers, take a pain killer only on a special occasion or when you actually need pain relief.
Well, since Rush isn't too good with the whole diet thing, obviously from his trip to the hospital after a dangerously unhealthy fad diet, let me explain it in terms of a drug addict -- instead of quitting cold turkey and not taking any painkillers, take a pain killer only on a special occasion or when you actually need pain relief.
Rush also commented, "I'm trying to say our first lady does not project the image of women that you might see on the cover of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue or of a woman Alex Rodriguez might date every six months, or what have you."
Geez Rush. Did Michelle ever try to promote this image of women or that she, herself, was a swimsuit model? What are you talking about? Are you still doing drugs? Maybe a couple pills to dull the pain, get you through the day, is that right big guy? One turns to three turns to five turns to ... what was I talking about again? Pass me a cigar and my microphone!
I hope the people listening to your high-rated show tune in to laugh at you because, honey, you are an idiot. Michelle Obama is a tall and average sized woman who works out and promotes healthy eating and exercise. She isn't a swimsuit model, no one ever said she was or was trying to promote swimsuit models or A-Rod arm candy. Michelle promotes people being healthy, not unreachable standards as a swimsuit model or the opposite as a overweight or obese individual. She promotes having dessert or a plate of ribs as a treat, not a staple to your diet. She's part of the solution, not the problem.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 34% of adults ages 20 and older are obese as of 2007-08, a number that has grown and continues to grow. Also, 34% of adults ages 20 and older are overweight. You do the math. The numbers also include:
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 34% of adults ages 20 and older are obese as of 2007-08, a number that has grown and continues to grow. Also, 34% of adults ages 20 and older are overweight. You do the math. The numbers also include:
* ages 12 to 19 -- 18% obese
* ages 6 to 11 -- 20% obese
* ages 2 to 5 -- 10% obese
The terms obese and overweight are determined by BMI (body mass index) which takes into account height and weight. Although it does not measure body fat (which means body builders, athletes and muscular people can have inaccurate BMIs), for the most part it's pretty accurate. We aren't dealing with pro-athletes, we are dealing with the Average Joe Americana.
As much as Shakira's "hips don't lie," these numbers don't lie. So Rush, what should America do with this disturbing growing trend? Oh wait, you don't care. You don't give answers to problems or promote steps in a positive direction. Instead, you sit on your high horse (a desk with a microphone), pop pain pills, eat shit and put others down. Maybe search for wife #5 in the recent issue of Sports Illustrated -- cover model Irina Shayk is a turbo hottie! Maybe take another stab at Michael J. Fox for the side affects of his Parkinson's disease. Screw Parkinson's, why not find another "disease" to attack -- you attacked obesity already so why not move to cancer? Lung disease? Diabetes?
Or, Rush, you could pick on a member of the opposite political party so you stay relevant. Stay in the news, stay controversial. Keep spreading the hate even if at least half of it makes no sense whatsoever. Your followers don't care why, they want direction! You don't believe half of what you say anyway because you are a parody of yourself, a character playing a game for ratings so people like me get so mad we write a really long blog about you and then at the end feel stupid for wasting so much time on you and your comments because that's what you wanted in the first place!
It's people like you who take advantage of the simple-minded, the people willing to listen and follow your advice and opinions with blind, open faith, it's people like you who made America a hated joke across the world. You are advancing hate, disunion and simplemindedness. Shame on you!
Or, Rush, you could pick on a member of the opposite political party so you stay relevant. Stay in the news, stay controversial. Keep spreading the hate even if at least half of it makes no sense whatsoever. Your followers don't care why, they want direction! You don't believe half of what you say anyway because you are a parody of yourself, a character playing a game for ratings so people like me get so mad we write a really long blog about you and then at the end feel stupid for wasting so much time on you and your comments because that's what you wanted in the first place!
It's people like you who take advantage of the simple-minded, the people willing to listen and follow your advice and opinions with blind, open faith, it's people like you who made America a hated joke across the world. You are advancing hate, disunion and simplemindedness. Shame on you!
Friday, February 18, 2011
Sarah Palin
During a recent Q & A session for the Long Island Association, a business group, Sarah Palin further hinted that she may run for president in 2012 with comments including "a woman, a mom" would be perfect for the role of leader of the free world and she's considering a man-on-the-street campaign. After reading this, many thoughts flooded my mind ...
Are there people who honestly think she would make a good president or is it all a gimmick?
Why are people willing to listen to her?
What has she done to earn status?
Is this the best the female gender can do for such an important position?
No wonder the world hates us and the battle between the sexes is still a big issue in the workplace and everywhere. I have so much to say I don't know where to begin, so I will start at the beginning.
Government in general has never been flux with women. Humans lived in a male ruled world for the better part of history. The 19th amendment allowing women to vote wasn't passed by Congress until 1920 and the first woman in Congress, Jeannette Rankin, was elected in 1916 so we haven't even gone 100 years with women being allowed to be involved (no girls allowed!) -- also, for the better part of the years following these monumental women's rights moments, women were still put down and ignored. Yeah, men will let you vote and let you join Congress but they still don't think you're equal and to this day there is still a battle between the sexes.
If you don't think so then what about stay-at-home-dads? Why is that largely seen as feminine and not socially acceptable in broad terms? What about presidents/CEOs of companies being female? Not a lot out there. There is pressure from men and women alike, as well as a historical pressure, for women to be mothers and take care of their family, not climb the corporate ladder. From sports to work to everything in between, women are not seen as equal. I'm not a feminist in the least but this is what I can see from our history and current times.
So, a woman running for vice president or president is going to ruffle feathers as well as draw attention. Same thing for a black man running for president. It has not been done and with a large history of oppression and opposition to black people as well as women, it's a big deal. The first female vice president nominee of the Republican Party was Sarah Palin in 2008. This drew a lot of attention, as the first for anything will do, and set up standards for women in such high power positions. There may be attention made to the second or third or so on, but not as much as the first, and as the trend becomes more of a standard, it eventually is accepted for the most part.
I'm all for a woman holding a position such as vice president or president but I was very disappointed that it was her. The world is waiting to see the first female vice presidential nominee, waiting to judge and examine her, like giving a baby its first taste of real food. You don't start with something gross, you start with peaches or something yummy. A first impression. And what do we get? A woman who went to three colleges before leaving to compete in beauty pageants (nothing wrong with beauty pageants but shouldn't be featured on the resume of a future world leader) and then returning to two colleges and finally getting a degree in communications to be a sportscaster. She was on the city council and then began her reign as Mayor of Wasilla. Not the breeding I want for vp or prez.
What do you know about Alaska? Honestly. What do you know? I will be honest and tell you, when I think of Alaska I think of snow, Eskimos and dogs pulling sleds. Icebergs, whale watching, cold temperatures. Obviously there is more to it than that but what would she know about any other parts of the country? Alaska is similar to no other state and is often forgotten as being part of the U.S. Not to mention her reign as mayor and when she wasn't mayor, but still heavily involved with politics, featured a lot of questionable ethics, including checking out city department heads to find out if they were loyal to her and, if not, forcing resignation. Boo hoo nobody likes me!
The only reason she was John McCain's running mate was because he was afraid of Hilary Clinton. Everyone got all hot about equal opportunity and if he was going to go up against Hilary, he needed some estrogen. He knew all the people who didn't like Hilary would like Sarah -- she's pretty, approachable and acts like an every-woman. It was all about show, just like her beauty pageants.
OK, so I get this part of it, the smoke and mirrors to get John McCain elected before he dies, but why on Earth is she going after the presidency in 2012. I don't get it.
It reminds me of when you ask someone about politics and they give you a run-of-the-mill answer, i.e. I like Sarah Palin. Then, you start digging, getting to the bottom of their stance. Typically what you get is "I just do, OK" and nothing concrete like I liked how she votes for this or for that or I think she would be a great president because of her experience with ...
Instead you get these empty responses. She's a maverick! She's a hockey mom! She's f-ing hot! She is anti-abortion like me.
Maybe that's what politics is all about. We don't want to research and figure out who the best candidate is, isn't that why we have politicians in the first place? To do the work we don't want to think or worry about? We want to go about our lives buying Starbucks, getting the kids to soccer practice and making time for romantic dinners with our wandering-eye spouse instead of worrying about the unrest in the Middle East or what we will do when all the oil is gone -- because we can bitch and moan about it but, at the end of the day, don't have to solve these problems. We are removed from our state problems, national problems, international problems. We are in the "safe zone." We want to go to our happy place instead of migraine city! Save that shit for city hall!
We put Barack Obama in office and expected him to save the f-ing world! Overnight! Now, a couple years in, we still have problems and we aren't happy about this! Weren't you supposed to be our hero? Our knight in shining armor? We don't want to see movements in the right direction, we don't want to see what actually happens when dealing with monumental issues, we want instant satisfaction!
Maybe politics turned into reality TV. We don't want the best candidate, some snooze-alert Harvard grad, we want the drama! We want Sarah Palin and her slutty daughter who got knocked up by some dude named Levi (maybe his parents really liked jeans) and then went on the fame bus to hell (Dancing with the Stars anyone?). Isn't that what the Palin's are about -- reality shows (Sarah Palin's Alaska & DWTS), writing books, drama (teenage pregnancy with a unwed mom, baby-daddies, a first dude named Mud Monkey, the Tea Party movement). Sarah Palin wants money! When did America stop wanting someone educated and experienced and instead want hysteria?
We are never happy. When a Democrat is in power, the Republicans wait until their next chance in four years and put a negative spin on everything accomplished, waiting to undo all that has been changed. This is not an equation for progress. The same is true for Democrats. No one wants to work together. Instead they want to spread lies that the average Joe eats up like Raisinets at the movies. Obama is a Socialist. Does anyone honestly know what it means to be a Socialist? They use these words that the average person won't waste time trying to learn. Do you know what a Socialist is? Oh yeah, of course I do, it's a terrible thing!
So, in conclusion (as I used to write at the end of my reports in high school), who is Sarah Palin? What do Sarah Palin supporters know about her? Why are we obsessed with her? For those people planning to vote for her in 2012, why?
Are there people who honestly think she would make a good president or is it all a gimmick?
Why are people willing to listen to her?
What has she done to earn status?
Is this the best the female gender can do for such an important position?
No wonder the world hates us and the battle between the sexes is still a big issue in the workplace and everywhere. I have so much to say I don't know where to begin, so I will start at the beginning.
Government in general has never been flux with women. Humans lived in a male ruled world for the better part of history. The 19th amendment allowing women to vote wasn't passed by Congress until 1920 and the first woman in Congress, Jeannette Rankin, was elected in 1916 so we haven't even gone 100 years with women being allowed to be involved (no girls allowed!) -- also, for the better part of the years following these monumental women's rights moments, women were still put down and ignored. Yeah, men will let you vote and let you join Congress but they still don't think you're equal and to this day there is still a battle between the sexes.
If you don't think so then what about stay-at-home-dads? Why is that largely seen as feminine and not socially acceptable in broad terms? What about presidents/CEOs of companies being female? Not a lot out there. There is pressure from men and women alike, as well as a historical pressure, for women to be mothers and take care of their family, not climb the corporate ladder. From sports to work to everything in between, women are not seen as equal. I'm not a feminist in the least but this is what I can see from our history and current times.
So, a woman running for vice president or president is going to ruffle feathers as well as draw attention. Same thing for a black man running for president. It has not been done and with a large history of oppression and opposition to black people as well as women, it's a big deal. The first female vice president nominee of the Republican Party was Sarah Palin in 2008. This drew a lot of attention, as the first for anything will do, and set up standards for women in such high power positions. There may be attention made to the second or third or so on, but not as much as the first, and as the trend becomes more of a standard, it eventually is accepted for the most part.
I'm all for a woman holding a position such as vice president or president but I was very disappointed that it was her. The world is waiting to see the first female vice presidential nominee, waiting to judge and examine her, like giving a baby its first taste of real food. You don't start with something gross, you start with peaches or something yummy. A first impression. And what do we get? A woman who went to three colleges before leaving to compete in beauty pageants (nothing wrong with beauty pageants but shouldn't be featured on the resume of a future world leader) and then returning to two colleges and finally getting a degree in communications to be a sportscaster. She was on the city council and then began her reign as Mayor of Wasilla. Not the breeding I want for vp or prez.
What do you know about Alaska? Honestly. What do you know? I will be honest and tell you, when I think of Alaska I think of snow, Eskimos and dogs pulling sleds. Icebergs, whale watching, cold temperatures. Obviously there is more to it than that but what would she know about any other parts of the country? Alaska is similar to no other state and is often forgotten as being part of the U.S. Not to mention her reign as mayor and when she wasn't mayor, but still heavily involved with politics, featured a lot of questionable ethics, including checking out city department heads to find out if they were loyal to her and, if not, forcing resignation. Boo hoo nobody likes me!
The only reason she was John McCain's running mate was because he was afraid of Hilary Clinton. Everyone got all hot about equal opportunity and if he was going to go up against Hilary, he needed some estrogen. He knew all the people who didn't like Hilary would like Sarah -- she's pretty, approachable and acts like an every-woman. It was all about show, just like her beauty pageants.
OK, so I get this part of it, the smoke and mirrors to get John McCain elected before he dies, but why on Earth is she going after the presidency in 2012. I don't get it.
It reminds me of when you ask someone about politics and they give you a run-of-the-mill answer, i.e. I like Sarah Palin. Then, you start digging, getting to the bottom of their stance. Typically what you get is "I just do, OK" and nothing concrete like I liked how she votes for this or for that or I think she would be a great president because of her experience with ...
Instead you get these empty responses. She's a maverick! She's a hockey mom! She's f-ing hot! She is anti-abortion like me.
Maybe that's what politics is all about. We don't want to research and figure out who the best candidate is, isn't that why we have politicians in the first place? To do the work we don't want to think or worry about? We want to go about our lives buying Starbucks, getting the kids to soccer practice and making time for romantic dinners with our wandering-eye spouse instead of worrying about the unrest in the Middle East or what we will do when all the oil is gone -- because we can bitch and moan about it but, at the end of the day, don't have to solve these problems. We are removed from our state problems, national problems, international problems. We are in the "safe zone." We want to go to our happy place instead of migraine city! Save that shit for city hall!
We put Barack Obama in office and expected him to save the f-ing world! Overnight! Now, a couple years in, we still have problems and we aren't happy about this! Weren't you supposed to be our hero? Our knight in shining armor? We don't want to see movements in the right direction, we don't want to see what actually happens when dealing with monumental issues, we want instant satisfaction!
Maybe politics turned into reality TV. We don't want the best candidate, some snooze-alert Harvard grad, we want the drama! We want Sarah Palin and her slutty daughter who got knocked up by some dude named Levi (maybe his parents really liked jeans) and then went on the fame bus to hell (Dancing with the Stars anyone?). Isn't that what the Palin's are about -- reality shows (Sarah Palin's Alaska & DWTS), writing books, drama (teenage pregnancy with a unwed mom, baby-daddies, a first dude named Mud Monkey, the Tea Party movement). Sarah Palin wants money! When did America stop wanting someone educated and experienced and instead want hysteria?
We are never happy. When a Democrat is in power, the Republicans wait until their next chance in four years and put a negative spin on everything accomplished, waiting to undo all that has been changed. This is not an equation for progress. The same is true for Democrats. No one wants to work together. Instead they want to spread lies that the average Joe eats up like Raisinets at the movies. Obama is a Socialist. Does anyone honestly know what it means to be a Socialist? They use these words that the average person won't waste time trying to learn. Do you know what a Socialist is? Oh yeah, of course I do, it's a terrible thing!
So, in conclusion (as I used to write at the end of my reports in high school), who is Sarah Palin? What do Sarah Palin supporters know about her? Why are we obsessed with her? For those people planning to vote for her in 2012, why?
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
The hate in your heart: Negativity, hate, glass half empty
I am not sure minded -- never have been, never will be. I don't believe in absolutes and, when weighing both sides of an argument, see truth in pro and con. Perhaps I don't take my judgment seriously but who am I to say someone is a bad person or fully judge them? What do I know? I am also a firm believer there is more than one side to a story, always.
However, whether you like it or not everyone judges at least on a subconscious level. It's human. Whether you take a step forward from this judgment and vocalize your theory or entertain it in your mind is a different story. A thought is singular unless you entertain it -- then it can become a support beam for your values and ideals.
So, when confronted with negative and hateful people I am curious. I'm talking about negative people, who always see the glass as half empty. Who relate everything back to themselves and bitch about people so much you wonder if you are the target of their hate when your back is turned. They are bitter and enjoy putting others down. Their negativity is so strong it feels like humidity on a summer day, when the air is so thick you can hardly breathe.
This negativity is toxic and causes me to feel drained. I start thinking with a slight negative POV. Maybe so-and-so is a bitch. I start gossiping, becoming catty. I have to stop myself and know what I'm getting into ahead of time before spending time with negative people. I won't let myself morph into their negative ally.
However, I still find it interesting.
Why are people hateful? It is self-abuse to put others down. You feel so bad about your life or some aspect of it that instead of looking inward at that negativity and getting to its root, it's easier to get a quick fix. Also, the negative emotions associated with your life are current, right at the front of your mind, clouding your thoughts. You want to get rid of it and fast! Ease the pain now! Put so-and-so down and for seconds, maybe minutes, maybe days if you are delusional, you feel better about yourself. It's like watching trashy reality TV to feel better about your life, watching the Snooki's of the world and thinking, "well at least I'm not her." Yeah, I could use to lose some weight but at least I'm not shaped like a meatball and a complete and utter whore. Or it's like when you are complaining and someone says, "it could always be worse" and mentions something far worse. For a bit you feel OK but it's not a cure, it's a distraction, like eating a few dozen doughnuts to feel happy.
The negativity becomes a cycle. One mean comment turns into more comments, more feelings, more power. Instead of thinking they have the power to control their mind and thoughts, these people let the hate pour out. This hate feeds on more hate and they begin to live off emotions, off the rush of putting people down, and they start to believe the hate that pours out of their pores.
This cycle starts for all sorts of reasons -- it reminds me of the cliche schoolyard bully. Why is he/she so mean? Some think the kid must be wired that way. Perhaps. More likely someone else is pushing this bully down. Maybe a parent at home. Dad is mean and they feel powerless so they take it out on everyone at school. It's easier to be mean to everyone instead of let someone in that might hurt you further. It's a displacement for negative emotion, it's gotta go somewhere!
I wonder if these people know how toxic they are or if they choose ignorance Next time you come across a Negative Nelly, first thing is identification. Then you are free to study them and see what the deal is with all that hate!
However, whether you like it or not everyone judges at least on a subconscious level. It's human. Whether you take a step forward from this judgment and vocalize your theory or entertain it in your mind is a different story. A thought is singular unless you entertain it -- then it can become a support beam for your values and ideals.
So, when confronted with negative and hateful people I am curious. I'm talking about negative people, who always see the glass as half empty. Who relate everything back to themselves and bitch about people so much you wonder if you are the target of their hate when your back is turned. They are bitter and enjoy putting others down. Their negativity is so strong it feels like humidity on a summer day, when the air is so thick you can hardly breathe.
This negativity is toxic and causes me to feel drained. I start thinking with a slight negative POV. Maybe so-and-so is a bitch. I start gossiping, becoming catty. I have to stop myself and know what I'm getting into ahead of time before spending time with negative people. I won't let myself morph into their negative ally.
However, I still find it interesting.
Why are people hateful? It is self-abuse to put others down. You feel so bad about your life or some aspect of it that instead of looking inward at that negativity and getting to its root, it's easier to get a quick fix. Also, the negative emotions associated with your life are current, right at the front of your mind, clouding your thoughts. You want to get rid of it and fast! Ease the pain now! Put so-and-so down and for seconds, maybe minutes, maybe days if you are delusional, you feel better about yourself. It's like watching trashy reality TV to feel better about your life, watching the Snooki's of the world and thinking, "well at least I'm not her." Yeah, I could use to lose some weight but at least I'm not shaped like a meatball and a complete and utter whore. Or it's like when you are complaining and someone says, "it could always be worse" and mentions something far worse. For a bit you feel OK but it's not a cure, it's a distraction, like eating a few dozen doughnuts to feel happy.
The negativity becomes a cycle. One mean comment turns into more comments, more feelings, more power. Instead of thinking they have the power to control their mind and thoughts, these people let the hate pour out. This hate feeds on more hate and they begin to live off emotions, off the rush of putting people down, and they start to believe the hate that pours out of their pores.
This cycle starts for all sorts of reasons -- it reminds me of the cliche schoolyard bully. Why is he/she so mean? Some think the kid must be wired that way. Perhaps. More likely someone else is pushing this bully down. Maybe a parent at home. Dad is mean and they feel powerless so they take it out on everyone at school. It's easier to be mean to everyone instead of let someone in that might hurt you further. It's a displacement for negative emotion, it's gotta go somewhere!
I wonder if these people know how toxic they are or if they choose ignorance Next time you come across a Negative Nelly, first thing is identification. Then you are free to study them and see what the deal is with all that hate!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)