I was going to add this as an addendum to my June 6, 2011 post, "It really was Rep. Anthony Weiner's wiener after all ... and that's just the tip of the iceberg that is Weinergate," but figured it deserved its own billing since it's becoming somewhat of a familiar excuse.
Unless you've been munching on freeze-dried astronaut ice cream sandwiches in a bomb shelter because of Harold Camping's persuasive commandments, you know the deal with Weiner's wiener, all the friends it made, all the trouble it caused. Hammin' it up for the camera, chatting online with girlies ... what a gifted wiener!
Yeah, Mr. Weiner shouldn't have lied about the ladies. He should have told people straight up, when the shit began to hit the fan, aka David Letterman-esque. I did it. I'm sorry. Aka, Republicans can't get me for lying, which is their only credible argument (duh, remember Bill Clinton? You obviously should since your wife works for Hilary. It's a small world after all.). Although, Weiner didn't even get it in or fondled! So he's got that going for him. No one did fornicate, so you gots to exonerate.
Whatever. So many issues, so little time, so I will cut to the chase. What's up with the professional help excuse men have been using as of late to cover up cheating? Rehabilitation for sexual addiction?
For all those greedy media gremlins thirsty for any bit of gossip, the sex addict excuse makes you look cold-blooded. How dare you pick on a sick person? He can't help it! He's sick! It's not like he wants to have a disease. All he can do is seek help. How brave of Mr. Weiner. The first step is admitting you have a problem.
Hi. My name is Anthony Weiner and I am a sex addict.
Hi Anthony!
But what about the 17-year-old, you know, one of the girls he was chatting with? She's underage. Wait until the media takes a bite out of that golden nugget! A sex addict with a name like Weiner was perfect enough but now add an underage girl to the mix ... oh yeah! ... but wait ... how dare they attack a sick man seeking treatment. He can't help his disease! Nobody ever says, "I wanna be a sex addict when I grow up!"
It's the 21st century. Sexting is the worst nightmare of modern day parents yet sex in general is a weird obsession with the American public. We all act like prudes but can't help ourselves when it comes to other peoples sex lives. Men tell their wives how women are dressing slutty these days with a disgusted look on their faces but surf porn sites when alone.
Weiner was OK until he copped out. We don't want the easy way out, we want Charlie Sheen, we want people admitting they are who they are and they don't care! Wave your freak flag high!
Sex addiction excuse: Eric Benet, Ryan Giggs, Kayne West, Michael Douglas, Tiger Woods, David Duchovny, Russell Brand, Bill Murray ... we've heard it many times. I have these urges, urges that are out of my control. I am hyper-sexual.
It couldn't be that, because of my fame, I figured I could get away with whatever. So, I did what I wanted. Just like Outback Steakhouse ... no rules, just right!
Hmm ... editors of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) rejected sexual addiction for its upcoming 2013 edition. However, the World Health Organization includes the diagnosis of excessive sexual drive in its International Classification of Diseases. Doesn't seem like all the main players agree!
Sexual addiction is treated like alcohol addiction with a 12-step program working to solve the problem of being unable to control the behavior (i.e. banging randos, dirty talk online, erotic 99 cents a minute chat) and continuing this behavior even though bad stuff keeps happening as a result of the behavior. Maybe you are manic depressive, maybe you are a narcissist or perhaps you have obsessive compulsive disorder.
Or maybe you got caught, you lied to cover your tracks but that didn't work so you told the truth ... well most of it but details are emerging daily (i.e. 17-year-old, using Congressional phone for live hot talk ... pictures of you nude in the Congressional locker room). Your colleagues are ready to crucify you but you don't want to lose your career and status. Obviously! You lied to everyone to keep it! So, you use your last card ... sex addiction. You aren't a bad person! You are a victim!
Excuse me but I don't buy it. Excuses don't solve problems. However, I am sure there has to be one guy out there, most likely many, with an addiction to sex. Unhealthy. The help received from therapy changes this guys life. Sex Addicts Anonymous. That's great but as with many diseases/disorders (i.e. ADD/ADHD, chronic back pain, depression, anxiety) it's easy to fake it until you make it. You say your back hurts. How am I supposed to know it doesn't? Maybe you pulled a muscle after lifting something heavy the wrong way or maybe you are an asshole craving the easy way out, craving attention. I don't want to be the dickface if you really hurt your back so I say nothing.
Also, with these in-your-head problems, many people are quick to give their own 2 cents. You know. Oh, you are depressed? (Insert your uncomfortable confession here, i.e. what you go through on a day-to-day basis). Their response? I was depressed once (because of course all depression and minds are alike) and know how you feel. You just need to get over it, move past it. You are weak. Be strong.
In Weiner's case, married men across the country are shaking their heads and saying, dude, yeah I get sexual urges, including some things I'm not so proud about, but I don't do them. I look at my Internet porn when my wife is away and watch others do the things I'm too shy to mention. If you are into talk, why not read Penthouse stories? As for married women across the country? Well they are giving Weiner the stink eye as they Google images of his spouse (which men do as well but just to see if she's hot because then it wouldn't make sense for him to cheat!).
Easily manipulated problems are chronically manipulated. Sad for those who truly suffer from the problem. Sad for those people who feel the stigma, the stigma dickheads like Weiner perpetuate. Shame, shame, I know your name and isn't it a delightful one!
No comments:
Post a Comment