When the U.S. government releases a press release reassuring Americans the zombie apocalypse is not happening, you gotta wonder ... wtf is going on? Didn't they do this exact thing in one too many zombie books and films and then, lo and behold, the zombie apocalypse was actually happening but they were trying to cover it up because us simpleminded folk would be hysterical if we knew the truth?
It all began in Miami with the naked man eating most of another naked man's face -- eyeballs included -- because he was high on bath salts. To stop him, police had to shoot him at least five times. Yes Bueller, five times! There's the Maryland college student who confessed to killing a man and ingesting his heart and part of his brain -- many people say he's been off his rocker for a while now, a typical after-the-fact revelation.
Then there's the guy in New Jersey who, when confronted by police officers, stabbed himself 50 times and threw bits of his intestines -- he was also possibly high on bath salts. There's porn actor Luka "Canadian Psycho" Rocco Magnotta who murdered, dismembered, sexually assaulted and possibly ate part of his boyfriend in Montreal and later mailed his body parts all over the place, including to politicians and a school. He recorded his crime and uploaded it on the Internet, like anybody in their right mind would want to watch.
How do I know you're crazy? You upload videos to the Internet of you murdering, dismembering, sexually assaulting and eating your lover, that's how!
Now we have the Louisiana man who was "under the influence of some kind of drug" when he bit off part of a man's face. A friend claimed the unknown drug was bath salts. Speaking of Miami, there was another report of unusual behavior when a man growled and barked at police officers, threatening to eat them. He was high on Cloud 9 -- a synthetic drug similar to bath salts.
New on the zombie scene is 38-year-old Lowpel Davis of Connecticut who stole a wig from Sassy Beauty Supply. After being chased down by the store owner and his father, Davis bit the store owner's bicep, taking a chunk of flesh from his arm, and spit in his face. Bath salts? Probably not. She probably just really wanted that wig.
We turn a blind eye to violence in America because we are desensitized. Yes, we typically feel sympathy but unless it's happening to us or a loved one (or is some sort of racial drama) most people go, "Oh did you hear about that murder? So sad ... so anyway, what are we doing this weekend? I gots to get to the bar!"
We can't handle the uncertainty of murder and violence. You can't obsess over the fact you might die today but, then again, you can't live your life totally oblivious to danger.
Although we're not talking everyday dangers -- car accidents, burglaries, rape. We are talking cannibals. We are talking people out of their minds, committing horrific acts. With talk of cannibalism we naturally crack jokes about zombies and an apocalypse because this is talk of glorified horror films. Yeah, you don't mind sitting in a dark movie theatre for 2 hours to watch the blood, guts and gore but come face-to-face with a zombie? I'm most definitely shitting my pants because it ain't gonna be Hollywood glitz and glamour zombies. I'm not going to turn out to be some badass zombie-defeating Joan of Arc. I'll be dead.
The Internet is exploding with zombies, zombies, zombies but, under the belief the government ain't lying and zombies aren't roaming the U.S. -- also under the belief this isn't some government weapon accidentally released or Satan on Earth, etc. (please take your tinfoil hats off ladies and gentleman -- I'm more fascinated with bath salts. People are snorting or smoking them ... doesn't that sound really stupid?
Bath salts -- also known as Ivory Wave, Purple Wave, Vanilla Sky, Bolivian Bath, Bliss -- are not used for a literal bath like Epsom Salts but are marketed as bath salts and labeled "not for human consumption." They are sold in mini-marts and smoke shops and not technically illegal yet -- only banned in at least 38 states so far. Confused yet? What's clear is consuming these bath salts can cause agitation, paranoia, hallucinations, chest pain, psychosis and, after the drug wears off, people are often suicidal. The drugs are hard to detect in the system because bath salts are a combination of compounds (Walter White anyone?).
So, these new designer drugs ... what's the appeal? Peer pressure at a party? Maybe somebody saying, "Hey man, try this. You'll love it!"
According to reports, bath salts aren't brand spankin new -- as of May 1, 2012, the 57 poison control centers in the U.S. reported 1,007 bath salt-related incidents, in 2011 there were 6,138. Months ago there were reports of a Louisiana man who cut his own throat before shooting and killing himself after being treated by doctors. A Maine man got off his motorcycle and wandered into the middle of a highway to try to hit passing cars with a piece of wood. Also in Maine, a woman thought her teeth were filled with ticks so she tried to cut them out with a knife.
Bath salts are the new crystal meth, the new crack cocaine, the new prescription drug abuse. Same issues, different poison. Junkies are ready for a better high, impressionable youth are too stupid to know any better, and idiots will be idiots. Typically I think about harmful drugs as a way to lower the population (let them drug themselves to death) -- you're stupid enough to take bath salts, then you're stupid enough to not need to procreate and contribute to the world. Goodbye cruel world! However, now we have "zombies" and reckless folk taking to the streets with violence too juicy for an episode of "Cops." Scary? Totally. What's scarier is the nonchalant, joking attitude towards these horrific crimes. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so desensitized but, then again, if I was I wouldn't be able to live in a time with bath salted fools roaming the streets eating faces, porn stars dismembering their boyfriends, and all the other disgusting and horrific acts being committed everyday.
Are humans becoming more and more inhuman?
LEGALIZE IT!
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