Are we free to speak?

Westboro Baptist Church.

It's difficult to find someone who hasn't heard about the Rev. Fred Phelps and his followers, people who hold what many refer to as controversial beliefs, and, instead of just Sunday morning sermons, share them with screams, shouts and signs at funerals, in interviews on TV, and on a website.

Writers, journalists and politicians banded together, especially politicos who know it's an election year and the public and their opponents eagerly wait for any response, and quoting the First Amendment, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

As a writer and journalist, I appreciate this right. However, Phelps leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth and a burning in the callous on my writing hand, as the media quickly turns him into a household name.

As an obituary writer at a newspaper, I've seen and heard grief. I've heard the sobs, I've seen the hollow, pale faces of recent widows and those who have lost a parent, sibling or friend. I've heard and seen the numbness, the spaciness and confusion in their words and movements. The emptiness radiates from them like heat from fresh tears.

After the loss of a dear friend, I learned that each person close to me has a physical place in my being, like pieces to a jigsaw puzzle. When they die, that place becomes hollow, empty. It is never filled but, over time, I learn to deal with that hole. I know it's there, I can feel it like a phantom limb, I am a puzzle missing pieces I have lost forever. I'm reminded when I recall a moment with the person, the look of their hair, their ordinary actions, like a smile or certain phrase, when I go to their home and, after a pause, remember they're not going to turn the corner and welcome me.

With this knowledge, I can not understand how the First Amendment allows people to protest at a funeral. Yes, they can hold views, whether I or anyone thinks them brilliant or ignorant. But to protest with signs -- “God Hates America” or “Thank God for Dead Soldiers” -- at a time grieving family and friends gather to say goodbye to a human being ... I can not understand how that should be protected. Is that what America is about -- the ability to spread hate as a right at one of the most precious and difficult moments in a human's life?

The home of the free, the brave, and the hateful? What about groups the government labels hate groups? Can they move to America and hate freely? Should they be allowed to interrupt other people's lives?

I studied religion in college, especially the Bible. It says to love God and your neighbor -- the highest commandments.

When I think of hate, I don't think of God. You can read the Bible or any religious book and argue a number of points and interpretations. What is it about religion that makes people, including Westboro, ready to judge, to point fingers, to ridicule ... ?

Think of life at its simplest. I don't mean your job or your family, whether you have money or not, or whatever fills your day. Think about life and the core of being. Where do we come from? When did life start and how? What happens when we die, where do we go or do we go anywhere? Do you know -- do you know for certain, without a doubt? How can you be sure about anything?

People either spend their time certain about their answers to these questions, and in turn treat others with hostility and disregard, or they fill their lives with distractions so they don't have to think about these questions, because, honestly, these questions are frightening.

How does the Rev. Fred Phelps know God and what He wants? Wouldn't that make him a prophet?

Instead of the media using this to shove Westboro into celebrity, use this as a teaching tool and a discussion question. What do you believe?

How do you manage stress?

I live a stressful life (who doesn't?) -- trying to finagle work, a erratic, nutty and demanding family, a love life, hobbies and everything in between weighs me down. I feel the stress -- they are smoke inside my body, clouding my thinking and choking my breathing. Even when not directly thinking about something unaccomplished, it's there, waiting, lurking in darkened hiding places, whether it's an errand to run or someone you disappointed years ago.

People use every second of their waking hours for work, family, errands, needs and wants, multi-tasking their lives. I don't like this. Maybe it's because I am weak, I don't know, but I can not take too much. It's not on my own doing, but recently my brain stopped -- like a doctor, I'm not taking anymore patients. I don't want new friends to juggle and get to know, I don't want more tasks at work, I don't want a better cell phone with Internet, I don't want to record 15 shows I don't have time to watch and would miss without a DVR or Hulu, I don't want to spend the bulk of my week on the go, driving from appointments to work to see family to ...

Instead of finding ways to fit in more activity, I am looking for ways to be active less, to read more, write more, to spend more time with my other half, to stop -- "slow down cowpoke" as my father says. I'm afraid if I don't, I'll miss my life, all of the important parts, and that scares me.

What are you all about?

I rode my bike to work yesterday. It was about a 12-mile round trip, uplifting my mood and well-being for the day.

As I pedaled along the shoulder of the highway, passed by vans, sedans, SUVs and trucks, I wished that the drivers were all on bicycles. When did Americans become so lazy? Lazy in their exercise habits, but also lazy in their lives.

I am put off by technology -- not all technology (I'm obviously using a computer) but the advancement of technology. We have gone too far with making life "easier" but this "advancement" will never stop as long as people obsess over new Blackberries, iPads, iPhones, SmartPhones, Playstation3, Wii, HD, 3D ... As long as there is a market. What's wrong with a cell phone that makes calls, and allows you to text and take pictures? When did that become not enough?

Maybe it's because I never advanced much farther than Nintendo. Growing up with low cash resources (poor), I used what was available to me and am glad for the experience. I learned the hard way that money and material possessions don't buy happiness. They don't and never will. Neither will food.

Life isn't about getting enough money to buy an expensive car, new gadgets, staying up-to-date in the fashion world or eating chocolate peanut butter fudge. The feelings from these items are exhilarating for a few moments or days but fade faster than a temporary tattoo.

Life is a journey and a gift (I'm not pro-life). You don't know how many days you or the people you love have on Earth. Take advantage of your life. Look around you at Earthly things, things that were here before phones, cars, clothes, food ... before you.

Politics

Am I alone in my exhaustion at the hands of politicians? I'm not referring to the re-election sideshow that is harassing us daily on TV and radio, in newspapers and magazines, etc. The ads with pictures of them with the sleeves of their collared shirts rolled up and wedding rings shining like bleached teeth, firmly shaking hands with minorities or talking to "Joe Everyman" about his plight. Bold words show how dependable and hardworking they are, elevating them to hero status.

Politicians have exhausted me for years, causing some to label my views "too cynical for my own good."

I don't trust them. Politicians remind me of a quote from "The Princess Bride" -- "Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something." How can one person know what is best for all the people in a town, county, region, state, country? Does anyone know what is best for a large group of people with different races, backgrounds, salaries, situations, intelligence levels, values?

Politicians don't act on what is best for their constituents, they act on what will get them re-elected or benefit their biggest donors, whether this action is conscious or not. It is always at the back of their thinking, lurking in the shadows of their thoughts and actions like a chore someone keeps putting off completing ... re-election, power, status. Tasting celebrity status is like smoking crack -- an addiction that overpowers other, more important, things like family, work, love.

Politics is not black and white, there is too much gray, too much talk and not enough action. Too many people turn on the TV to listen to whatever newscasters say, who have their own network agenda, trusting words not actions.

I read the views of "political columnists" and sigh, even with the views I occasionally agree with. They seem to know what is going on and what is "right" and what is "wrong" in government. Each column, each week and month, year in and year out, they follow their opinion. When I see their topic, I already know the gist of their words. How sad to be stuck, like a scratched CD, skipping over a note.

Will we ever know the truth about politicians, their voting records, what they've done for their constituents, their pasts? When will Americans stop being numb and stop listening and, instead,, find out what these "talking heads" have done. Talk is cheap.

I'm not promoting anarchy or anything related to chaos. I don't know what I'm promoting ... I am tired and put off by agendas and false advertising. Maybe I'm too cynical, maybe not.