Friday, August 3, 2012

Chick-fil-A, gay people and your stomach: Part 2 of America's obsession with Jesus Christ and fast-food

I wrote a post Jan. 31, 2011, entitled "Chick-fil-A, gay people and your stomach" after news hit about a Harrisburg, Pa. Chick-fil-A donating food to a marriage seminar offered by one of the state's leading anti-gay organizations, causing an uproar to spread like hellfire across the United States. Chick-fil-A's response (keeping in mind this occurred during the hot-hot-heat of gay marriage and Don't Ask Don't Tell)? A video uploaded to their Facebook fan page about how they value all people. Lame lame, we know your name!
Guess who's back, back again? Chick-fil-A's back, tell a friend. Oh wait, you don't have to tell a friend because everyone is up in arms with more spit and vinegar and passive aggressive hatred than this blubbering cynic can handle.
Turns out Chick-fil-A does not value all people as earlier suggested. They regret the error, not.
Genesis: On July 16, 2012, an online Southern Baptist publication quoted Chick-fil-A Prez Dan Cathy, whose family owns the fast-food chain, saying he endorses “the biblical definition of the family unit.” Ah yes, man + woman. Then, my friends, the shit hitteth the fan. Liberals (especially mayors across the country) went on tirades about boycotting Chick-fil-A while conservatives encouraged everyone to frequent the chains -- to literally eat mor chikin.
A Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day was held Aug. 1, 2012, where conservatives dined on greasy chicken, waffle fries and gay hatred, setting a one-day sales record for the fast-food chain. Will these people flock come November to vote for conservative robot Mitt Romney? Perhaps. What about the folks flocking to Kiss In Day at Chick-fil-A today (Aug. 3, 2012) for National Same-Sex Kiss Day (I saw enough of that last night in an old episode of "Workaholics"). So, what's the deal, pickles? Homosexuals plan to kiss their loved ones outside of the fast-food chain's outlets, take pictures of said liplock, and post these gems on social media sites so everybody knows Chick-fil-A's bird ain't the word.
Organizers of Kiss In Day say: We want to "show Chick-fil-A that everyone deserves to be able to fall in love, start a family, and take their children to eat fried chicken after a soccer match." Isn't that what America is about? Love, sports and fried chicken! I played a lot of sports growing up and always went to Dairy Queen afterwards. Dairy Queen ... Queen ... Queens ... Gays. Hmm. Maybe I'm secretly a gay man.
Anyway, it's an election year and politicians are ever hungry for votes, no matter what month, so they've gotta take a stance! Yay or nay to fried chicken!?
So, are we talking gay marriage or high-calorie takeout? America is obsessed with Jesus Christ and fast food -- how pathetic. Was this a sales gimmick by Chick-fil-A because, if it was, bingo bango it worked!
Whatever the case, this go around -- in comparison to 2011 -- has garnered further interest from me as I've noticed something petty. People on Facebook are posting photos of themselves in line at Chick-fil-A or cryptic posts such as, "Am proud to eat at Chick-fil-A" or "Picking up Chick-fil-A for dinner tonight." So, instead of writing "I hate gay people" or "Gay people make me uncomfortable" they post passive aggressive b.s. Wimps for posting nonsense online without face-to-face confrontation and wimps for posting passive aggressive hate.
This isn't my whole beef with this circus. The whole beef, and nothing but the beef, so help me God. For all you people out there hot and bothered about Chick-fil-A being anti-gay (which isn't news. The Cathy's have been quite clear about their conservative views for a long time), are you planning to boycott all establishments with anti-gay views? What about the conservatives shoving fried chicken down their throats as if Jesus commanded it (11th Commandment: Thou shall eat bland fried chicken!), what about pro-gay liberal establishments? You gonna boycott them?
Oh wait, you aren't because those establishments aren't in the spotlight right now and you're too lazy and apathetic to go the distance. It's easier to write your Facebook posts, Twitter updates, and eat at an establishment you already frequent or stop eating there altogether. Easy peezy. Chick-fil-A, anti-gay, hooray, let's go eat KFC!
Yes, Americans are obsessed with Jesus Christ but I think Americans are more obsessed with the act of being obsessed, of being outraged, of bitching and moaning, of exercising our Freedom of Speech right until we are blue in the face ... of getting it our way, right away, at Burger King or anywhere. We fall in line and follow the leader because we want to be part of the crowd and we crave attention. Isn't that what it's all about? Don't we all strive for celebrity status? Don't leave me behind! Read my Facebook post, pay attention to me, listen to what I have to say because I'm right, you're wrong. If I don't post updates then everyone will forget about me and if everyone forgets about me than I don't exist. Right? I have a Twitter account and Facebook so I'm a celebrity now? I have 31 followers!
Take a stance, people will agree or disagree. Don't take a stance, people will think you don't care. Stop worrying about what other people think: priceless. If you want change, eating at Chick-fil-A or not eating at Chick-fil-A is not the way. Donate your time, energy and hard-earned money to something more fulfilling -- volunteer work, being there emotionally for family and friends, donating to help cure diabetes since America is apparently pigging out on fried chicken, ya know, productive things.

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