Getting felt up at the airport

John Tyner and the Transportation Security Administration.

A man got prissy when his groin was patted for weapons before he was to board a plane -- which some still consider a luxury. He feels he was “sexually assaulted” by the “government” (aka Big Brother is watching and also feeling you up) which was like a mating call to the media. He was quickly thrust into the spotlight like a piece of sizzling bacon to all the coach potatoes glued to nighttime news shows, in turn causing a mass hysteria about our rights as Americans.

Does this fellow honestly think these rules were instigated so hard working tax payers could cop a feel and violate his rights? Boo hoo.

Does no one remember Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab – the “Christmas Day bomber” -- who concealed plastic explosives in his underwear? The holidays are approaching and for glutenous, self-absorbed Americans this means overeating, going gift shopping and trying to pretend you like your family.

For people trying to kill Americans, this means “jackpot.” People will be traveling to visit family, preoccupied with gift buying, gaining weight from holiday overeating – which has become as accepted as the Freshman 15 -- going to uncomfortable holiday work parties, and sending greeting cards with pictures of their family smiling in a leaf filled backyard, pretending they are so happy long enough for the flash, along with a detailed letter about how wonderful their lives are and what little Johnny did at school this year and just how fantastic life is ...

These terrorists are becoming more creative and the government needs to do what they can to stop their creative juices from flowing into dead Americans. If that means when I fly somewhere I'm going to be felt up by some dick-in-a-box, then OK. It's not humiliating or a violation if it's happening to everyone else in line.

If being felt up means that my flight is going to be safer and it won't blow up and end my life – then go right ahead, touch me!