The U.S. unemployment rate in July was 9.1 percent. Americans are out of work or, if lucky enough to hold on to their jobs, faced with reduced hours and paychecks and higher prices at the pump and in the grocery store. People across the country worry over how they will buy food, gas, pay bills and provide for their families.
But don't let this stop Kim Kardashian and New Jersey Nets star Kris Humphries from providing America and the world with a $10 million wedding. Don't worry everybody ... according to msnbc, Kim stands to make a few million dollars selling her wedding photos (no wonder cameras aren't allowed at the wedding). She also released a limited-edition perfume to coincide with the big event, Love By Kim Kardashian -- wonder what greed smells like? She is playing America for millions yet people still feed on her every word like groupies. Is it because men want to do her and women want to be her so the men will do them? What's the deal with Kim K and the Kardashian family?
The media panders to the stupid and is on Kim's wedding, and life, like fruit flies on a rotten peach.
Is Kim losing weight to look good in her wedding photos? Kim is calm and not feeling any pre-wedding jitters (whew! I will sleep well tonight knowing this doozy!) Which wedding dress should Kim K wear?
According to E! Online (shocking they would furiously suck at the Kardashian teet since the family makes millions for E! ... shocking ... they are a PR campaign for their shows, especially considering the wedding will air in a two-night special on E! in October) ... anyway, according to E! Online Kim and Kris' wedding is "one of the most secretive weddings in history!" Nothing about Kim's life or her body is secret. Just ask Ray J or read "Playboy" or any trash rag.
In addition to publishing dozens of articles about the wedding, E! Online went as far to compare Kris Humphries and the Kardashian family to Prince William and the Royals ...
Could you imagine Kim Kardashian and Kate Middleton meeting? Kris H and Prince William? Kourtney and Pippa? Khloe and ... Grace Van Cutsem? Kendall and Kylie Jenner vs. Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie? And, last but not least, Kris Jenner and the Queen herself. Too bad they didn't include Bruce and Prince Charles and Rob Kardashian and Prince Harry.
A better comparison would be to spotlight the weird K obsession the Kardashian and Humphries families share. Kris H has two sisters, Krystal and Kaela. So we have Kim, Kris J, Kris H, Kourtney, Khloe, Kendall, Kylie, Krystal, Kaela ... pretty stupid.
Too bad money can't buy a royal title.
The only things these pairings make me think of -- other than the outright absurdity of comparing the money-hungry Kardashians to royalty -- is what a great episode of "Celebrity Deathmatch" these lineups would make. Can you imagine watching a fight to the death between the Queen Mum and Kris Jenner's Botoxed grill? Obviously Prince William will get his ass handed to him by hulky Kris H and Khloe would probably eat Grace. Kourtney might not fare so well against athletic Pippa. Place your bets world!
Absurdity like this makes me think of aliens ... it's arrogant to believe we are alone in such a vast, complicated and beautiful universe. If you're uber religious and think God uses the universe, as well as things like dinosaur fossils, to trick us into questioning our faith ... well, good luck with that.
So anyway, we've got these aliens flying around and they come upon Earth. They study us, hopefully to find out if we're a friendly race (not to find out how to turn us into slaves or destroy our planet). What do they learn? What would they think about our obsession with reality television, celebrities, porn, alcohol, plastic surgery, money and material possessions.
It's like a brother on the down low ... you can build this facade with a wife and children but it doesn't change the fact you have sex with men on the side, whether you want to acknowledge it or not.
Aliens aren't going to take the time to study us deeply ... unless they beam us up and do some probing -- ouch, not so rough baby! They are going to take a snapshot and take it for what it's worth. Maybe they catch the brother on the down low with his family or you reading The New Yorker. Maybe they catch the brother in bed at a ratty pay-by-the-hour hotel with two transvestites -- Gloria Hole and Ginger Vitis. Or they find you watching a marathon of "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" in your underwear with a bowl of popcorn and a pint of Ben & Jerry's Phish Food.
Would you do half the things you do if you knew other people were watching? Other people were taking notes and judging, building a character file on you? Well ... maybe they are watching right now. What would they see?
So ... with all this Kim Kardashian wedding b.s., the only thing I'd like to know is how long until Kim and Kris get divorced so E! can run a two-night special on Life After Divorce: Kim K Learns to Love Again ... too bad they will have millions of viewers tuned in to suck at the teet of filth and the dumbing of America. Whether you like it or not, Kim K and her family aren't real people, they are actors playing roles to suck every penny out of your pocket.
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