What is it with hero worship?
When it comes to these people -- our heroes -- we wish we were like them (possibly even want to take over their body and life completely like in a sci-fi novel) because, then and only then, everything would be fabulous.
Maybe you aren't the type to say fabulous ... how about perfect? Sublime? Awesome? Or, if you wanna go old school, everything's aces! Tops! Anyway, if we were like our hero we would be happy, well liked, successful and satisfied.
If things go wrong -- we are upset, annoyed, depressed, angry, anxious -- we look for a savior. We look outside instead of looking within because we know what we will find, insecurities and negativity. If we ignore it then it will go away, right? It's so much easier to ignore it and wish upon a magic star we were someone or somewhere else.
It could be that we crave material possessions or food to fill the void or maybe we wish we were more like So-And-So who acts cool, calm and collected at all times.
If you can't handle the heat, get out of the kitchen ... well So-And-So stays in the kitchen and cooks a delicious five-course meal while still looking gorgeous because they are awesome!
Or, we wish we were married to So-And-So who would make the perfect mate because he or she is ... (insert craved for attributes here). How do we know? Well, duh, we've spent time with this person and they are perfect! We hear everyone talk about how perfect they are, everyone swoon.
We don't think this person can't possibly be perfect because no one is perfect. We don't think it's the image they project, instead of their true self. It's like when you first start dating someone ... it takes time before you get to the real person because everyone puts up a wall. Maybe it's a defense mechanism to protect their feelings or maybe it's a fake persona they use to attract someone ... you know, where they pretend to be interested in everything the other person enjoys so this person will like them, aka low self esteem. Whatever the reason, that ain't them!
And even when you get past those few months (or more) and, hopefully, are face-to-face with the true person, when you finally get past the mask, you will never know what it's like to be them. Even if they describe their innermost feelings and desires until they are blue in the face, you will never know because you are not them.
I'm not saying everyone is miserable deep inside. There are people who are happier than others. Duh. Everyone is different.
It's like when you see the finished product -- someone who plays the guitar really well or publishes a fantastic book -- and wish you could do that. You don't want to put in the time, the hours of work/practice, the frustration and second-guessing, you want the endgame! Similarly, you see these people and want to be like them or, pardon my French, do the big nasty with them because you know they are perfect, everything you've ever wanted and more.
Why can't we understand no one is perfect? These people -- celebrity or not -- have ups and downs like everyone else. Yeah, maybe a lot of them are better looking than the Average Joe but looks are fleeting for all and airbrushed and filled with Botox for most. These movie characters are not real. Everyone is just saying their lines for a paycheck.
Eric Northman is not going to walk in your back door (after asking to be invited in, of course) and sweep you off your feet to a life of luxury, darkness, and sex beyond your wildest dreams.
You're not going to wake up tomorrow, stumble into the bathroom and notice, wow, you've lost 15 pounds overnight! Look at those abs!
I'm not going to check my bank account to see if I have enough moolah to buy a full tank of gas and notice, oh me oh my, for some reason the U.S. Government deposited a check for $500,000 due to a computer error.
It must be my lucky day!
In addition to celebrities (real-life Hollywood shells of people as well as your heroes from TV, movies and books), your misrepresenting friends or acquaintances may be seasoned at putting on a mask, hiding their inner darkness and pretending everything is fantastic because, honestly, who enjoys hanging out with Debbie Downer? Nobody. Also, perhaps they could fake it until they make it ... you know, keep telling yourself everything is fine and then, voilà, it will be fine!
Is it because of the media? The media tells us who to love, who to hate and spins news this way or that with a few choice words to have us thinking this celebrity is crazy and stuck on her ex while this other celebrity has a perfect body but swears it's due to diet and exercise only. Doesn't life seem so much more important with cameras following you around and the world hanging on to every word you say and move you make?
Sources close to Ms. Blah Blah Blah say she eats raw carrots and green tea shakes and works out 10 hours a day!
Oh, how I want to be just like Ms. Blah Blah Blah so ... so ... ? Why do we want to be like these people, these people we don't know. Yeah, you read about them in the news, you watch their interviews on talk shows, you watch their films or TV shows but that's not them. It's all fake!
Although I was relieved to learn, through Entertainment Weekly, Bert and Ernie are not gay, according to a Sesame Street representative. Whew! Ernie can continue his love affair with Rubber Duckie and all will be well and good in the world.
Rubber duckie, I love you!
Maybe it's because in movies, TV shows and books we are given characters who are so intricately developed we begin to believe they are real. We sit and watch them week after week and foster a one-sided, beautiful friendship. These characters have gorgeous bodies or beautiful minds or lives or, perhaps, they don't but they often win in the end. Find their soul mate, catch the bad guy, get that new job because we don't want unhappy endings since we are already unhappy. We watch these movies and TV shows and read these books because we want to escape life -- maybe people, maybe a specific person, maybe a job or overall sadness. We want to sit for a half an hour or hour TV show or a two hour movie and not have to think. We want to live vicariously through someone else and that someone better land on their feet or it's all over for us. We so need someone to believe in, someone to show us that life isn't all bad, it's not always going to be this way.
It's like going to sleep and getting lost in a fantastic dream. It's so real and alive and wonderful until you wake up and it's gone and you're back to reality. It's Monday morning all over again. The holidays are over, along with your excuse for overeating, and here you stand with an extra 15 pounds injected right into your gut. Sexy!
Life is pain princess and if anyone tells you otherwise, they're selling something. Maybe it's an image, maybe it's just easier this way, maybe they don't want you to know ... whatever the case may be, no one is perfect. You aren't, I'm not and these heroes certainly are not either.
It reminds me of advertisements for tampons. You can find as much sunshine and happiness as you want and put it in a 30-second commercial or on a magazine page but I know buying your brand is not going to make my monthly bill any less lame. There is blood escaping my body through a very personal area (yuck), there are cramps, bitterness, bloating, large underwear and no white clothing involved ... as a seasoned menstrater, you ain't gonna fool me Chief! However, doesn't a part of you want to believe the advertisement. Wouldn't it be wonderful to switch tampon brands and find it makes everything so wonderful? Wouldn't it be wonderful to wear Axe Body Spray and have beautiful women crawling all over you?
No one wants to admit this is the way it is and how it's gonna be because that's not the type of society we live in. We want the miracle. We want everything handed to us. We want it to be easy.
It's like a writer who writes daily on different subjects (wink, wink, nudge, nudge ... me) but keeps finding he/she is writing about the same things. That's because I am what I am, those are the things I find interesting, those are the things that bother me. Yeah, I could want to be really into football, horror movies or video games so I can share that love with my husband, or really into decorating or cooking like a sibling, or simply be really into anything so I can find an anchor in life, an anchor to keep me grounded in meaning in this nasty sea. The waves rise and crash against me but at least I find comfort and purpose in scrapbooking or camping or live music.
However, too bad, so sad, I am not fanatic about any particular thing but that's OK. Cest la vie. I'm the youngest of four so I was raised under the impression it ain't all about me so I better learn to compromise, fight or starve. Maybe if we stop trying to be someone else or something else, we can finally be happy with what we are and, also, finally know what that is ...
However, maybe we need these strangers, these celebrities, and maybe we need our misrepresenting friends to distract us from life, give us something to hope for, something to dream about and shoot for so life doesn't seem so pointless and harsh. You're born and then you start dying. You are a candle burning and burning away until the light goes out.
On the other hand, maybe I think too much and need to get out of my head -- obviously I've heard this comment before -- but, as the 8-year-old boy I babysit for often says in response to anything he doesn't like, "who cares?"
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