The 63rd Primetime Emmy Awards recently aired. The awards -- the equivalent of an Academy Award, Tony or Grammy -- are presented by the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences and feature several categories. Formerly referred to as the Emmy Awards, Primetime was added to differentiate the awards from the Daytime Emmy Awards ceremonies. The Primetime ceremony is usually aired the week before the start of the fall television season, as was the case this year.
So, I get it. There are worker bees plugging away to provide us with weeknight entertainment, from directors to actors to writers, and the best man, woman or show wins. OK. I get it. I enjoy "The Good Wife" and "NCIS" on a regular DVR-addicted basis -- like the Good Wife, I am the Good Daughter and watch and discuss both shows with my mother -- so I was glad when Julianna Margulies won.
However, that's where my interest and concern begins and ends.
I do not care to watch the Emmy program -- before or during the ceremony. I do not care to listen to red carpet interviews by talking heads claiming to be journalists. I do not care to watch Jane Lynch desperately try to be funny -- way to milk your character from "40 Year Old Virgin" for all its worth. I didn't care to watch Jimmy Fallon last year either or Neil Patrick Harris the year before. I do not care to watch the show wearing socks or while in a box. I do not like them here or there, I do not like them anywhere. I do not like the Primetime Emmys, I do not like them, Kate-I-Am.
To me, the Emmys is a load of b.s. Comedians yuk yuk yuking on TV, doing dance numbers and insulting people -- it's all so contrived. Women don ultra-expensive gowns and jewels after spending hours in a makeup chair. Men don ultra-expensive tuxedos or suits. Both sexes strut down the red carpet, eager to discuss themselves on national television to fakeass journalists (wankstas, as the kids say) so to stay relevant while real journalists are covering the national debt crisis, the Himalayan and Guatemalan earthquakes and other problems across the globe, problems far more important than why Alec Baldwin was a no-show and how many men had heart attacks after glimpsing Christina Hendricks' massive sweater cows. Meow!
But no, let's all play make believe with our make believe friends, the celebrities -- omg did you see Gwyneth Paltrow? She's so skinny! Does she eat? Omg did you see Jon Hamm? He's so dreamy. The things I'd do to him ...
Let's all watch their interviews because ... because ... why? They aren't real people!
What are you wearing? Are you excited about tonight? Do you think you will win?
The celebrities carefully choose their words and deliver scripted b.s. that America eats up like potato chips in a bowl. Try to eat one chip. Try it! Celebrities can and that's why they are winning and we are losing!
Yeah, the morning after I checked out Google News and perused through Best Dressed and Worst Dressed pictures -- 5 to 10 minutes worth of my time while eating my breakfast. But that's about it because the Emmys are a private event for celebrities. They let us watch and pretend we're involved, pretend we matter and are part of the cool kid crowd because they need us to watch their shows. They're hoping we're half-retarded and dress up to attend Emmy parties at home with champagne and hors d'oeuvres. How pathetic. It's like getting dressed to go to prom and sitting alone at home because no one invited you!
Yeah, Julianna Margulies won. Good for her. I'm glad because I think she does a great job on "The Good Wife" but she and I are not friends and never will be. I don't know what she's like in real life. I am sitting in my living room typing an extremely bitter blog on a laptop in Small Town, U.S.A. and she is somewhere over the river and through the woods in La La Hollywood Land. I'm sure she cares and loves her fans but what does it matter? I don't love Julianna Margulies, I love her character on "The Good Wife." I love Alicia Florrick.
So, why do people watch the Emmys?
No comments:
Post a Comment