Latest news on Jerry Sandusky (The Man Everybody Loves to Hate): Team Sandusky introduces "hygiene defense." As a proud member of Team Edward, I'd hate to be Team Sandusky ... yuck ...
Anyway, Karl Rominger, an attorney for the former Penn State defense coordinator -- a man facing 50 felony counts of sexual abuse -- argues Sandusky showered with youth, which Sandusky admits, because these boys were so at-risk (how at-risk were they??) they didn't know the ins and outs of proper hygiene, especially showering.
Rominger: "Some of these kids don't have basic hygiene skills. Teaching a person to shower at the age of 12 or 14 sounds strange to some people, but people who work with troubled youth will tell you there are a lot of juvenile delinquents and people who are dependent who have to be taught basic life skills like how to put soap on their body."
Yeah, it does sound strange because it is strange! I sat through high school health class, where we were taught everything from basic hygiene to how to put on a condom. At-risk or not, it's not like my teacher pulled out his wang and demonstrated proper condom technique! We used bananas not chubs! Duh! Also, unless these youth are absurdly slow-witted or Sandusky has difficulty explaining (which isn't the case since he was a defense coordinator for a major college football team), how hard is it to verbally explain, "You grip the bar of soap in your hand. You hold the bar of soap under the warm running water. You run the bar of soap over your body. Make sure not to miss any areas. Lather. Rinse. Repeat if necessary you dirty birdies!"
Look ma, I did it! No behind-the-back-bear-hugs, no soaping up kids necessary. Hands-free like your Bluetooth!
Look ma, I did it! No behind-the-back-bear-hugs, no soaping up kids necessary. Hands-free like your Bluetooth!
Listen. I'm not an attorney (obviously), especially not a big swingin' dick who can pull such a high profile client, but you're playing hardball with this excuse? Really? I picture Sandusky's "team" of attorneys squeezed into a room, sitting around a long, shiny wooden table, pouring over hundreds of documents, witness accounts, scouring every detail. Ties loosened, sweat forming at their brows, they burn the midnight oil until one of them perks up. With a fist pump and an over-exaggerated face, he screams, "By Jove, I think I've got it! Hygiene! It's all about hygiene!" Men applaud while others wipe away tears. No wonder I pictured them as chimpanzees.
What boners.
There are charges against Penn State officials who allegedly knew about Sandusky's indiscretions for years. Sandusky was facing 25 felony counts of deviate sexual intercourse, aggravated indecent assault, unlawful contact with a minor, endangering the welfare of a child and indecent assault against at least eight victims over more than a decade before being re-arrested recently on 12 additional counts involving two more victims. That's at least 10 victims with a lot more going on than a few showers!
What boners.
There are charges against Penn State officials who allegedly knew about Sandusky's indiscretions for years. Sandusky was facing 25 felony counts of deviate sexual intercourse, aggravated indecent assault, unlawful contact with a minor, endangering the welfare of a child and indecent assault against at least eight victims over more than a decade before being re-arrested recently on 12 additional counts involving two more victims. That's at least 10 victims with a lot more going on than a few showers!
These charges aren't appearing out of the blue either. There were at least two occasions -- one in 1998, the other in 2002 -- when Sandusky was suspected of sexually abusing minors.
All this and what's the defense? He was seen showering with minors on those occasions because he was giving private showering demonstrations? Even if that's what he was doing -- which is highly unlikely -- it's inappropriate on all levels. Adults should not shower with children and should not soap up children.
However, there has to be some sort of defense, right? Sandusky's attorneys could keep their money-and-attention-hungry mouths wired shut before trial and have him plead guilty. Hard to do with the U.S. media circus circling, waiting for any hint of scandal so they can scrutinize it nonstop on TV and online to boost ratings, as well as Sandusky's adamant denial of any wrongdoing. If there was one accuser ... maybe ... but with at least 12 accusers coming after you it's unlikely you're innocent.
I'd like to say I could come up with a better defense ... but isn't that what people always say? Men sit at home on their couch shoving chicken wings down their gullets while watching their favorite quarterback throw an interception and what do they mutter? "Oh, if I was out on that field, I would have throw it long. I could play better than that boob! Come on!" Yeah right.
How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains? ... Yeah ... Coach woulda put me in fourth quarter, we would've been state champions. No doubt. No doubt in my mind.
However, maybe the "hygiene defense" is the best excuse for a long list of heinous crimes. Then again, Sandusky's team doesn't seem to be too bright ... his defense attorney Joseph Amendola jokingly suggested anyone who thinks Sandusky is a child molester should call 1-800-REALITY ... which turned out to be a gay sex line. Oops!
However, there has to be some sort of defense, right? Sandusky's attorneys could keep their money-and-attention-hungry mouths wired shut before trial and have him plead guilty. Hard to do with the U.S. media circus circling, waiting for any hint of scandal so they can scrutinize it nonstop on TV and online to boost ratings, as well as Sandusky's adamant denial of any wrongdoing. If there was one accuser ... maybe ... but with at least 12 accusers coming after you it's unlikely you're innocent.
I'd like to say I could come up with a better defense ... but isn't that what people always say? Men sit at home on their couch shoving chicken wings down their gullets while watching their favorite quarterback throw an interception and what do they mutter? "Oh, if I was out on that field, I would have throw it long. I could play better than that boob! Come on!" Yeah right.
How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains? ... Yeah ... Coach woulda put me in fourth quarter, we would've been state champions. No doubt. No doubt in my mind.
However, maybe the "hygiene defense" is the best excuse for a long list of heinous crimes. Then again, Sandusky's team doesn't seem to be too bright ... his defense attorney Joseph Amendola jokingly suggested anyone who thinks Sandusky is a child molester should call 1-800-REALITY ... which turned out to be a gay sex line. Oops!
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