I can hardly stomach Facebook and Twitter. The amount of political posts made me nervously seek out the closest trash can because I was surely going to retch.
On election day, people were Tweeting and posting pictures of their "I Voted" stickers like superheros, like the lamest Superman ever to exist. He's not faster than a speeding bullet but he accomplishes tasks! He votes! He pays his taxes! He doesn't break the law! He checks items off his To-Do List!
He is the most uninteresting man in the world.
The election-hangover has set its claws into American minds. We get poor winners and poor losers. The left are rejoicing and letting everyone know about their win, like their vote decided the race and Obama is going to save us from Romneyitis and self-destruction. The right are supporting the Mayan calendar and preparing for the end of the world. They have their bags packed for Australia and Canada (just like the left did when George W. Bush was reelected) -- which I find funny because Australia has universal health care, strict gun laws, no death penalty, openly gay politicians and judges, and a female prime minister who is an unmarried atheist. Hell on Earth to a conservative! As for Canada, Republicans won't love the free health care, gay marriage and big government! Also, what do you think? You'll just be able to cross the border and, voila, they will crown you king of Canada? Look it up, it takes a lot to be allowed to live in Canada. They don't want us as much as we don't want them.
For devastated right-wingers, you can always join Donald Trump's Revolution. Sounds like a fitness video offered on QVC at 4 a.m. for half price.
I guess these people didn't have parents who constantly reminded them never to talk about politics and religion in social situations because, to me, Facebook and Twitter is a ginormous social situation. Although, I can see why people think it's OK to let their freak flag fly high on social media -- they are safely sequestered at home, not face-to-face. You're not Joe Smith from Podunk, Miss., you are BigAces675. Look at the big brain on you!
The majority of people Twittering and posting as fast as their piggie fingers can type are sharing political outrage because they want to make it all about them. Isn't that social media? It's all well and good when you complain about a bad day or, on the other side of the coin, an exciting moment in your life but it becomes exhausting when it's all politics or the dreaded female self-portraits via cell phone. Why do women do that? We know what you look like sweetheart. Stop puckering up buttercup and live your life.
Compare your average political Facebook ranter to a rioter in Egypt or Yemen. Would they throw rocks and sticks at tanks and armed soldiers? Would they stand in front of a tank a la Tienanmen Square? No. We are fat, lazy Americans who don't trouble ourselves with much of the turmoil of the world. We commute to work in our gas guzzlers, eat fast food, watch football and reality television and slowly turn into rotting vegetables. We complain while disguised as our Internet-alter-egos and are spineless rubes in real-life.
People complain about too much government and Obama being a socialist but when something goes majorly wrong -- aka the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy -- they complain relief isn't coming fast enough. They are hypocrites! Their beliefs exist as long as they are convenient and revolve around their little world.
So, now the election is over, people will forget they are self-described political pundits and leech on to the next craze. What's the next big thing gonna be? Another baby killer to shame and crucify before he/she has a trial? Another big name sex offender? Judge away America.
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