Caveman Speak: iPad 3 to be unveiled in March, iPhone 5 gossip ... did I time travel?

So, I'm doing my typical lazy news roundup ... also known as scanning Google News for anything of interest ... and I notice hysteria over Apple unveiling their iPad 3 in March. There's also an article discussing gossip over the iPhone 5, possibly being released this fall.
Whoa whoa whoa ... back the truck up Sally. iPad 3? iPhone 5? Where have I been? Did I time travel or, more likely, is Apple popping these new and improved Joker products out like Michelle Duggar does babies? Probably a little bit of both.
So, I wonder ... why are people so hot to get the new iPad or iPhone? Is it because they did their homework and learned the iPad 3 is rumored to feature an 8-megapixel camera, a vast improvement over the iPad 2, OR is it because it's the hot new thing being shoved violently down their throats?
I've seen people crowding the streets outside Apple stores when something new is available and I wonder why. Why do they do it? A sense of prestige over having the new hot-ticket item? (Reminds me of the world of fashion). It's mine, oh yes, all mine! Look at me everybody, I'm up to date! I'm cool!
Will purchasing the iPad 3 change their life?
Yeah, I use an iPad at work. It's cool and user friendly, which is nice, but I'm not obsessed. I'm definitely not planning to stand in line among hundreds of others when the iPad 3 is available and spending more money than I should.
I don't have an iPhone but I have a SmartPhone. I'll admit it's, again, nice, especially having access to e-mail and the Internet on the go, but I find it to be somewhat negative. Sometimes it's good to put the phone down, put the computer down and shut off the sweet electric buzz of technology.
The other night, while watching one of my favorite shows, I found myself perusing Twitter on my phone. Why you ask? Was the show boring? No way! The show was great, I was simply following an impulse and that made me nervous.
I'm torn, finding myself floating somewhere between the distress over all the Tweets I missed, all the news and witty tidbits, and knowing I can never keep up with it all so I shouldn't try because it will be wasteful stress. Yes, stress over missed Tweets! How pathetic. Before we know it this phenomenon will have a diagnostic code in a future edition of the DSM!
Must. Put. Phone. Down.