My mind is playin' tricks on me ...
Most of you experienced this ... you have an event coming up. Maybe it's your birthday this coming weekend (your special day!) or you are getting together with some friends for a night out. Maybe you're going to the bar to booze your troubles away or going to the theater to see the newly released comedy, the one that's supposed to be the "funniest movie of (insert year here)!" Whatever this event may be, it is something to look forward to, something making the downsides of the week easier, i.e. long hours at your 9-5 (especially between 1:30-2ish and 3:30 p.m. when the workday seems endless and agonizing, when the clock looks to be ticking backwards), routines of working out and watching TiVo-ed shows, running errands, being an "adult" in a culture that celebrates the fun-loving wild, no responsibility jerk-faces in movies and on TV. Those assclowns who have no trouble spending money and doing whatever they want because in the movies you always end up on top!
You think about how much fun you will have, how much you need this night out. Yes, need! It becomes more than just your birthday or a night out with friends ... it's going to be the best time you've had in a long while! As the kids say, it's going to be epic.
You chat with friends about it, exchange some text messages, Facebook posts, maybe some phone calls or (shocking!) face-to-face contact.
But then, when the event finally arrives, it's not what you expected. It's not as fun as you thought and, although not necessarily the opposite of fun (as in shitsville, population 1), it's just not as great as you pictured.
This is when you think ... why am I disappointed? Well hopefully you think this or think anything at all ... at least being a tad bit introspective because otherwise you just keep doing the same shit over and over again and ... isn't that the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results.
Anywho, you thought about that night out at the bar all week long and now it's here and you remember ... you don't even like bars. The people are annoying, the music is loud, it smells weird, it's expensive and really not a great time unless you are completely s-faced. You work hard for your money and it gets wasted at a place you don't even like that much. You could have bought a bottle of hooch and drank it in the comfort of your home, doing what you like. This is a realization and is beyond a shadow of a doubt in your mind but if you are honest with yourself, you know in a week, maybe two or three, you will be back at the bar. You will have that week again where you motivate the monotony of work or exercising or whatever by reminding yourself how great your night out will be. Such a reward it will be! Then you find yourself at the same bar with the same realization ... this is pretty lame. But you are supposed to love going out to the bar or whatever it is everybody does! Join the crowd or you will be left out!
Of course not every situation is the same but overall ... what's the deal pickles? Does it have to do with the over abundance of hype? It reminds me of newly released movies ... you watch the trailers and hype on TV, maybe as a preview before another movie, maybe you read something in a newspaper, magazine or online? Maybe you see an interview with one of the actors. "Funniest movie of the year." "A must-see." You are fed the best clips, the funniest parts. Duh, marketing 101. But then when you go pay your enormous fee for tickets, soda and maybe some Sour Patch Kids or Snowcaps, maybe you are a Raisinettes type of dude, whatever, you sit your pretty ass down and watch the film ... and it really isn't that funny. It really isn't a must-see. What was up with all that damn hype? Was the movie lame or was it just hyped too much, so much you waltzed in to that theater with such high expectations that of course it sucks! With those expectations, nothing is going to win. You gotta lower your standards brotha!
Lowered expectations! Or you ignore the hype and just focus on what you enjoy, what you like and go with your gut!
Anyway ... why isn't it easier to learn from our downfalls? Downfall as in mistakes, downfall as in disappointments. You have "friends" (whatever that word means to you) and they disappoint you. Maybe it's your birthday and they expend enough energy to write "Happy birthday" on your Facebook wall after being reminded of your date of birth when signing on or the ones who can't even expend enough energy for this task. Oooo brotha, feel the burn! Maybe they promised you a night out on the town at your fav watering hole and leave early because they are bored. Because said watering hole is deserted and there's no one there to peak their interest and pay attention to them, especially not you! Of course they don't say this but it's obvious after reflection. They leave (or they leave you your technology age/time saver/staying-connected-while-not-having-to-go-through-human-contact-ever-again "Happy birthday") and your feelings are hurt. You aren't exactly surprised by their actions but you are hurt. You are upset. You bitch and moan. You complain. Boo hoo, woe is me. You know what ya gotta do! But then comes the moment of truth. Knowledge vs. action. What ya gonna do about it besides a dramatic inner monologue?
Are actions going to speak louder than words and you gonna change your ways? You have options, obviously, from confrontation all the way to denial. But why is it we typically don't do anything? Why do we except these friends for who they are, even if they are shitty friends? What's the point of the friendship?
Change is so difficult. It is easier (not necessarily on your stress level or overall well-being) but easier to just keep doing the same old shit. Keep watching those movie trailers and going, wow, that movie looks awesome! You know what I heard? I heard it's the funniest movie of 2011! Well I'm going to go pay my weeks wages to get a seat and some snacks at the local theater and check it out! It's OK if you sit in front of some annoying dude who won't shut up the entire film, I get to see the funniest movie of 2011! You keep going to the bar on the weekends. You keep hanging out with that shitty friend. It's just so much easier.
Aristotle wrote, "Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods." While I think interaction with others is important and healthy, I am a cynic. Why put so much time and energy into people when they are just going to let you down? When you are just going to die, a death that ends your personal journey and sends you on another (hopefully)? This isn't for the people who have amazing, attentive, thoughtful and caring friends, but honestly how many of you are even out there? This is for the others. The only friend you need is yourself.
So next time you see those movie trailers or think about your next event, whether it's your birthday or a bar trip or whatever, be honest with yourself. Is it something you are going to enjoy or is it just more hype, more bullshit to dull your senses?
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