Sunday, May 15, 2011

Two and a Half Men, Charlie Sheen, Ashton Kutcher?

Charlie Sheen has a highly checkered past and is often referred to as a bad boy. So much so when he took a break from "Two and a Half Men" to enter a rehab facility in February 2010 not many were shocked. His health, as well as his career on the hit show, only continued sliding downhill from there, including his cocaine and alcohol induced incident at the Plaza Hotel and being rushed to the hospital for severe abdominal pains.
I could go on but we all know how the story goes since it's been plastered on the news round the clock. The egomania drama, the winning attitude, the tiger blood, the strippers and Goddesses, the standup shows around the U.S. He's making money on madness and Americans are eating it up like the promise of a new fad diet ... or adult males are eating it up as if they could be millionaires, banging strippers and doing whatever they want. Ha, good luck! It's all shtick!
But whatever you want to say about the Sheenster, "Two and Half Men" was a wildly popular show, earning great ratings and Sheen with a fatass paycheck. Money in da bank!
Although he didn't have much acting to do -- he basically played himself, a pleasure-fueled alcoholic who favored booze and women instead of his personal devotion to cocaine and prostitutes -- it still was a winning ensemble for the man, earning him more than $1 million an episode. He played the part well and the show was obviously popular for him to earn that much moolah.
So ... we've all heard/read the news. He's been fired. Next step, does Warner Bros. end the show or do they try to continue the big earner? Duh. Cash rules everything around me, it's the C.R.E.A.M., dolla' dolla' bills ya'll. So, who do they get to replace the character of Charlie Harper?
Obviously I'm not a TV show producer. I don't know anything outside of the fact I've watched television shows before. I'm the ultimate Jane Doe sitting at home, flipping channels, DVRing what I like and ignoring what I don't. So, what do I know? All I can provide is a realistic recommendation. Charlie Harper is a self-indulgent playboy drunk who still manages to be lovable and humorous. Hmm ... so you need someone who can play the part and make it believable, as well as interact well with the other main characters, especially Charlie's brother, nephew and mother.
That's about as far as my thinking got when I totally forgot about the whole thing. That is until today when, lo and behold, someone already got the part. Who do you ask can fill the shoes?
Ashton Kutcher.
Wtf. The former model now serving as plastic surgery filled Demi Moore's beeatch (she even got her knees fixed! Her f-ing knees!)? The guy who perfected playing a horny dumbass on "That '70s Show" (which I enjoyed) and served as mastermind behind the annoyingly immature show "Punk'd" (which became stale quick)? Excuse me but I don't get it. Yeah, he was pretty decent in "The Butterfly Effect" but what about "Dude, Where's My Car?" He's good at playing a total jackass but what about Charlie Harper, the self-absorbed male cougar ready to have one night stands with hot women and pound some booze and poontang? Not so much.
When I think of Ashton Kutcher, I think of those stupid Nixon commercials he stars in as the ultimate sellout who is not good enough for TV shows or movies but only good enough for commercials -- and honestly, his commercials are pretty stupid.
So, why was he cast to play Charlie Harper? Why? I don't understand.

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